an imaginary friend you have till you reach maturity. understandibly a large majority of the worlds population have not reached that stage in development. the are called "christians"'. they ban condoms, condem homosexuals and hang blacks. otherwise they are a reasonable sort. btw... he was a carpenter that lived with his mother, who was a virgin... yeah... hes cool.
little girl -"mommy... whens jesus coming back...?"
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
by jewboylol November 12, 2009
Get the jesus mug.by madeeeeeeeeee October 1, 2008
Get the jesu! mug.The business of spreading the Gospel and saving souls (for a profit, of course.) Business practice made popular by such personalities as Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, Oral Roberts and other charismatic con-men with shiny suits and big hair.
by PilotMikeTX October 14, 2006
Get the jesuness mug.some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 6, 2011
Get the jesus mug.Jesus,is a total fake.He'd be cool if he was real,but his dad can go suck a cock for all I fucking care.
by fairytale!!!!!!!!!!! October 29, 2008
Get the Jesus. mug.a christian leader, or known as the son of Christ. he is known for dying on a cross and rising again after three days.
by kitty kat >:) December 15, 2015
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