Deuce of Clubs

A pair of fists.

I'm gonna lay my deuce of clubs down on you.

by Osha February 19, 2009

talkin' deuces

talkin' mad shit

homie #1: Yo, youz lookin' like a bitch today
homie #2: Oh yeah? You better stop comin' round here talkin' deuces before I knock you the fuck out dawg

by big homie watts March 30, 2016

doobie deuce

When you're smoking weed and you take a really nice shit.

When you're smoking in the bathroom with friends, it's inappropriate to take a doobie deuce.

by Doobie Deucer January 14, 2017

Deuce-Noose

A deuce-noose is the act of shitting on some one's neck then lightly choking the same person. This is usually done during sex with a agreeable partner and not meant to be a means to murder.

I met this girl at the bar last night that was into some weird s&m type shit. Literally she wanted me to give her a deuce-noose.

by TGFL STRAWBERRY December 5, 2018

deuce cannon

When you eat pf changs or any variety of spicy mexican or indian food and get explosive diarrhea. You fart so loud it sounds like a cannon went off and shit sprays all over the back of the toilet, likely resulting in splashback.

After we went to Taste of India last night, I came home and instantly regretted it. I hit the bathroom and it was like a deuce cannon went off in there. Now the whole house smells like curry. What was I thinking?

by deucerocket November 8, 2010

No dice on a deuce

Expression of disappointment after failing to have a bowel movement.

I'd hoped the kid would poop before we got on the road, but alas, no dice on a deuce.

by Moteq January 1, 2017

Baker's deuce

From the former practice of bakers of adding a third to a batch of two in order to avoid punishment for accidentally delivering underweight deuces.

Johnson: "Wait, how many english muffs did you have for dinner last night?"

John Thomas: "I ended up buying a baker's deuce - two for dinner, and one for dessert."

by billybee69 March 23, 2011