Santa Claus

Yes, I am real. And if you don't believe in me you can catch these holiday hands you hoe hoe hoe.

I left Santa Claus fatass some celery instead of cookies and I woke up to deer shit on my bed.

by FrootyLoopy June 23, 2020

Milking the santa

When Santa is too fat for your chimney and he gets stuck so you pull out his tiny dick and start jerking him off all night.

Kim: Santa's stuck in my chimney!
Santa: help!
Kim: *pulls down santas pants*
Santa: wha- what are you doing?
Kim: oh nothing, just milking the Santa!
Santa: oh god!

by Uniaer October 26, 2020

The angry santa

The angry Santa is when the big toe is sticking out of the hole in your sock.

Dude,I need new socks cause the angry Santa is annowing me. I keep having to take off my shoe to cover my toe!

by Pwailnuts March 17, 2017

santa clause

a mythical being that helps retarded rich kids to pass LA

Me: woah, kid, how you get 100 on that LA quiz?
rich kid: I studied with santa clause, bitch

by G0ingInsqne April 8, 2017

Santa Fever

Similar to Jungle and Yellow fever, Santa fever is a increased affinity or even fetish towards tall, bearded, well-built, mature white men.
Perpetuated by dilfs, daddy culture, and lumbersexuality.

"How do you like that guy?" Brenda asks. "You know I have Santa fever. Eh, give him a beard and I'd be on top of his lap in no time," Niecy excitedly replies.

by Niecythegreat July 26, 2016

Atlanta Santa

A big brawny pimp who's got many hoe-hoe-hoes and will come down yo girl's chimney.

Dude i swear, that guy was Atlanta Santa.

by iiAdroit June 12, 2016

Santa-Sauced

Santa-Sauced: The condition many volunteers find themselves in after a day of playing Santa Claus in some mall somewhere. Drinking cheap booze out of a paper coffee cup in order to tolerate all of the little brats and their know-it-all, overbearing, fucken soccer moms.

Teenager 1: Hey Jimmy, why don’t we go home and get your little bro so he can see Santa Clause and get his picture and shit.

Teenager 2: No way man. That motherfucker is Santa-Sauced. I don’t want him near my little bro.

Teenager 1: Seriously dude; how can you tell?

Teenager 2: Cause the more that Santa drinks his coffee, the more he sways in his chair and slurs his words. He damn near fell over helping the last kid off his lap.

Teenager 1: Well, you must be right. If anyone knows what being drunk looks like, it would be your drunk ass.

by Jackthesnipper9512365 December 2, 2011