Santa-Sauced: The condition many volunteers find themselves in after a day of playing Santa Claus in some mall somewhere. Drinking cheap booze out of a paper coffee cup in order to tolerate all of the little brats and their know-it-all, overbearing, fucken soccer moms.
Teenager 1: Hey Jimmy, why don’t we go home and get your little bro so he can see Santa Clause and get his picture and shit.
Teenager 2: No way man. That motherfucker is Santa-Sauced. I don’t want him near my little bro.
Teenager 1: Seriously dude; how can you tell?
Teenager 2: Cause the more that Santa drinks his coffee, the more he sways in his chair and slurs his words. He damn near fell over helping the last kid off his lap.
Teenager 1: Well, you must be right. If anyone knows what being drunk looks like, it would be your drunk ass.
Teenager 2: No way man. That motherfucker is Santa-Sauced. I don’t want him near my little bro.
Teenager 1: Seriously dude; how can you tell?
Teenager 2: Cause the more that Santa drinks his coffee, the more he sways in his chair and slurs his words. He damn near fell over helping the last kid off his lap.
Teenager 1: Well, you must be right. If anyone knows what being drunk looks like, it would be your drunk ass.
by Jackthesnipper9512365 December 2, 2011