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John Todd

A guy who compensates with the cars he drives, and fake ice. On his off-time he likes to downhill-ski with the boys in the backseat of a shitbox Tacoma while listening to Rack City through a gen. 1 iPod.
Awh shit, John Todd brought the gay parade again
by Not so gay November 15, 2019
mugGet the John Toddmug.

John Boston

The ghost of Boston’s forgotten founder, executed in 1631 for “witchcraft” after peacefully communicating with local Native tribes. Hanged in what’s now the Boston Common children’s park, John Boston returns every July 6th, the day he died.

Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.

The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Friend 1: “Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
by Wsgg July 5, 2025
mugGet the John Bostonmug.

John Headache

The inventor of the headache. Created when John Headache tried to think too hard in 1882. We hate this guy and his cursed invention.

Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
"my head hurts wtf"
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
by TheRatEmpire November 8, 2023
mugGet the John Headachemug.

The John Stamos Proximity Effect

The relative coolness of a person or object is defined by a value inversely proportional to the square of the distance of said object or person from John Stamos.
Bob Saget is only cool because of the John Stamos Proximity Effect after he was on Full House
by Armacham85 October 30, 2010
mugGet the The John Stamos Proximity Effectmug.

John Rooney

A legend of a man, from Co. Mayo, Ireland.
There will never be anyone like John Rooney.
by IrishBridgy July 13, 2022
mugGet the John Rooneymug.

John Bromley

The manliest man to ever life.
John Bromley: So help me Bob i'm bully in the alley
by CommanderKevin October 20, 2021
mugGet the John Bromleymug.

Road John

A “John ” is the hardest man on the streets yh. Him and Ed run eccy road fam and are the cheekiest men on de block fam. Get on there bad side And they will call up big man Zac the weed farmer to intimidate the Bdale Mandem.
Yo rud boi, there’s a Road John near by, we should run fam.
Road John means hardest man in the park.
by Roadman 21savage lookin man November 24, 2018
mugGet the Road Johnmug.

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