AKA ...
1) East Lansing Diploma Factory (or the good ol' ELDF for short, or just plain 'El Doof!')
2) Rust Belt Tech (Rust Belt as in 'dilapidated, plain, bland, flat, kicked-in, empty, also-rannish, has-been, the great fly-over, bankrupt, bourgoise, cheeseball, un-hip, inauthentic, wannabe, sycophantic, pedestrian, top 40, et al.)
3) High School For Those Who Missed It The First Time (... and Second...and Third...and Fourth...and Fifth...et al.) - yes, like ALL large state universities, it feels that suburban, that cookie-cutter, just like...well...high school. Yahoo! Just think Muffy, I can be a jock or cheerleader all over again and it will be like I haven't left Mommy and Daddy's house! Perpetual boy or girlhood!
4) The Big Block "S" - "S" which REALLY stands for "Safety" -as in "Safety School"; y'know, f'r instance, your 119th choice on your list of top 20 schools (ranked just after the Wayne County Lock-Up and just before lawn-cutting service training).
5) Infantilized U. I always thought the most boyish of boys and girlish of girls attended here. I still do, even all these years later. Want to feel completely paternalized, unsophisticated, immature, incapable of dealing with real adult issues well into your forties and fifties? Then you'll go here - diaper and wet nurse, included.
I do not lie. Stay COMPLETELY the hell away from this joke of an institution - unless you find flipping burgers or running a suntan booth intellectually compelling. I kid you not - that's where you'll wind up. The 'haves' - and the grown-ups - attend the better kinds of schools with the better kinds of persons. The 'have nots'- and the losers - get stuck in places like 'El Doof' and learn how to 'supersize' things for a living. Macomb County and Farmington Hills, here we come !
1) East Lansing Diploma Factory (or the good ol' ELDF for short, or just plain 'El Doof!')
2) Rust Belt Tech (Rust Belt as in 'dilapidated, plain, bland, flat, kicked-in, empty, also-rannish, has-been, the great fly-over, bankrupt, bourgoise, cheeseball, un-hip, inauthentic, wannabe, sycophantic, pedestrian, top 40, et al.)
3) High School For Those Who Missed It The First Time (... and Second...and Third...and Fourth...and Fifth...et al.) - yes, like ALL large state universities, it feels that suburban, that cookie-cutter, just like...well...high school. Yahoo! Just think Muffy, I can be a jock or cheerleader all over again and it will be like I haven't left Mommy and Daddy's house! Perpetual boy or girlhood!
4) The Big Block "S" - "S" which REALLY stands for "Safety" -as in "Safety School"; y'know, f'r instance, your 119th choice on your list of top 20 schools (ranked just after the Wayne County Lock-Up and just before lawn-cutting service training).
5) Infantilized U. I always thought the most boyish of boys and girlish of girls attended here. I still do, even all these years later. Want to feel completely paternalized, unsophisticated, immature, incapable of dealing with real adult issues well into your forties and fifties? Then you'll go here - diaper and wet nurse, included.
I do not lie. Stay COMPLETELY the hell away from this joke of an institution - unless you find flipping burgers or running a suntan booth intellectually compelling. I kid you not - that's where you'll wind up. The 'haves' - and the grown-ups - attend the better kinds of schools with the better kinds of persons. The 'have nots'- and the losers - get stuck in places like 'El Doof' and learn how to 'supersize' things for a living. Macomb County and Farmington Hills, here we come !
"I see on your resume' it says you went to Michigan State"
"What's a resume?"
"This chicken scratch your mother(?)wrote out for you."
"Oh. Does it mention somewhere I get to skip recess?"
"Ah - it's listed as a 'reference.'"
"Cool! So do I get the job or what?"
"Hold on - I'm just finishing this last paragraph from Faulkner."
"Oh yeah - the Fochers - didn't they turn that into a movie starring some guy named Richard El Dorado?"
"That's Robert DeNiro."
"Oh - right, Al Pacifico's pal."
"I believe you mean Pacino."
"Didn't I say that?"
"What's a resume?"
"This chicken scratch your mother(?)wrote out for you."
"Oh. Does it mention somewhere I get to skip recess?"
"Ah - it's listed as a 'reference.'"
"Cool! So do I get the job or what?"
"Hold on - I'm just finishing this last paragraph from Faulkner."
"Oh yeah - the Fochers - didn't they turn that into a movie starring some guy named Richard El Dorado?"
"That's Robert DeNiro."
"Oh - right, Al Pacifico's pal."
"I believe you mean Pacino."
"Didn't I say that?"
by overagedfratboyleftoverfromthe'80's January 25, 2008
Get the Michigan Statemug. Canadian: "Canada is turning in the 51st state. I wish we were not so close to the U.S."
American: "Whatever."
American: "Whatever."
by The Return of Light Joker October 18, 2008
Get the 51st statemug. by COOLESTPRESONALIVE April 15, 2010
Get the united statesmug. Red State is to be murdered by a religious extremist for religious reasons.
From the awesome movie Red State
From the awesome movie Red State
by omenistic January 15, 2013
Get the Red Statemug. by BOT Putin March 11, 2017
Get the United Statesmug. John: Dude, you know what? This Mike is totally fucked, he is in a sorry state.
Smith: yes man, he is totally fucked.
Smith: yes man, he is totally fucked.
by psychograped May 31, 2012
Get the Sorry statemug. 1) A college very much like four extra grades of high school located in central Pennsylvania.
2) The largest congregation of cattle and red necks east of the Mississippi.
3) The only school on Earth where "Do you want fries with that?" is a major.
2) The largest congregation of cattle and red necks east of the Mississippi.
3) The only school on Earth where "Do you want fries with that?" is a major.
At first I thought my son went to the state penn, but then I became really embarassed when I learned he'd actually gone to Penn State.
by Joes Dead July 15, 2005
Get the Penn Statemug.