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american football

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A really crap sport.American football is just like our rugby but them American wusses use padding and helmets because they are soft as shit and are too scared to get hurt.
And anyway, why is their sport called "football"? They don't even use their feet! Maybe they call it that because most Americans' IQs are below 30 and their tiny brains can't think of another name for their so-called "sport".
by psycho bitch March 7, 2004
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Football

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A £ multi-billion industry based around 20 overpaid tribal heroes kicking a ball around, as in the grounds thousands of semi-evolved, illiterate grunting beasts attempt to kick the living shit out of eachother.

These Mongo Retardopithicus footballii are tribal creatures, easily regognised by their sloping forheads, prominant brow-ridges, shaven heads, vulgar and garish gold sovereign rings and the finest chunky gold chains that Argos can supply as well as their tribal war-paint.

They are a primitive people, who worship the Sun (especially page 3 ). Most are incapable of using words of over 2 sylables ( foot-ball, mon-go, rooo-knee, ga-zza, lar-gah, be'-kham ) the only exception being their legendary spiritual home, the mythical Ing-Gerr-Laaaand. Each tribe slavishly worshipping a tribal god-icon and it's associated 12 warrior- heroes,or 'Teeems. Usually, these tribes are blood enemies ( Chel-see tribe strong, kill Ars-nal tribe, ug! ) , fighting vicious battles over the ritualised tribal war carried out by the Teeems These battles invariably end up in local human population centres being damaged ( 'Mongo's Teeem is lose, Mongo smash up town, ug!' or, conversely 'Mongo's Teeem is win, Mongo smash up town, ug!' )
Every 4 years however, the tribes of Ing Gerr-Laaaand come together for a month-long frenzy of obsessive stupidity.
Thanks the goddess it only happens every 4 years.
At the mention of the sacred word 'football' the assembled primitives began to hoot and beat their chests excitedly, this soon resulted in the entire town centre being destroyed.
by Kynth November 30, 2011
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American Football

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American Football isn't even football, because you hardly use your foot.
by Phantom Definition Writer July 28, 2008
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American Football

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An extremely gay sport that gives high school fags a reason to feel "cool" while also comforting them from the fact that they have extremely small dicks. The objective... to be as gay as possible while throwing a leather ball and wearing pads like a pussy. The truth... American football is a slow-paced, piece of shit sport that involves a minimum of 11 vaginas on the field at once.
Football Fag: "Hey, do you think I have a chance at fucking that hot chick from our Calc class?"

Soccer player: "Yeah sure, if your dick was existent and you weren't such a faggot."

Football Fag: "Hey thanks man. I'm a tool because I play American Football."

Soccer player: "Fuck off."
by Futbalzdumb June 11, 2011
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Amherst Football Team

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The team that thinks they can do good, but then when the game actually comes up, they bomb it and blow a 30 to 12 lead, but then the tides turn and then the score becomes 30 to 45 and they Amherst Football team ends up with an L.
Amherst Football team: Alright boys u ready for the big game, YEAH!!
Game score: 35 to 1, Amherst leads.
Third quarter:35 to 200
Amherst Football team: WE LOST, BUT WERE SO GOOD THO!
"school kids make jokes about Amherst Football team being good"
Amherst Football team: TRIGGERED!!!!!!!!
by gWRIOL November 14, 2018
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Fag Football

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A version of American football where two fully nude teams play with a bar of soap in a communal shower.
I am the leading tackler on my local YMCA fag football team!
by Tom's Brady September 22, 2021
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passing the football

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The act of two lovers pressing their asses together and one partner shitting a large solid turd into the anus of the other partner.
If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, passing the football never fails.
by Midnight Assassin June 22, 2016
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