If you want to give a waiter a hard time, ask them for a left-handed fork and I bet they’ll go look for one.
You: Excuse me can I get a left at fort?
Waiter: Most definitely, I’ll be right back.
2 hours later
Waiter: I think we ran out of left handed forks.
You: Dang that’s a bummer, I don’t know how I’m going to eat. I guess a right handed fork will do for now.
Waiter: Most definitely, I’ll be right back.
2 hours later
Waiter: I think we ran out of left handed forks.
You: Dang that’s a bummer, I don’t know how I’m going to eat. I guess a right handed fork will do for now.
by MrTrollNDaNTaNet February 11, 2019
Friend: Give me a hand job
Friend 2: I have a boy friend
Friend: No No Platonic Hand Job, as friends
Friend 2: I have a boy friend
Friend: No No Platonic Hand Job, as friends
by Platonic Hand Job March 18, 2018
When all your friends leave you for Netflix and chill or Amazon and Anal and all you have is your hand.
While mikes friends were out for nextflix and chill or amazon and anal, he was stuck with hulu and hand.
by manchild8518 December 12, 2015
Intact pieces of corn that you pick out of your shit, then wash (optional), then serve it to someone you don't like.
Jack made a detour by the employee bathroom to prep some fresh hand-me-down corn to go with his customer's steak and baked potato.
by one more fizzle May 03, 2011
when your pants and underwear squelch up uncomfortably into your butt crack creating a slight amount of suction. this leads to redness and chaffing (in extreme cases underwear is sucked up the buttocks and travels backwards through your organs. The garment ends up coming out of your ear, giving the panties a waxen glow.) your , best cured removing the garments and applying liberal amounts of vinegar. the acid counters the skin irritation.
by pinnigan December 30, 2011
by 0513197810071973 August 11, 2022
I was caught porn handed. I was jackin to some BDSM, and I feel asleep. I woke up to my sister vomiting because of the horrible site.
by Basileusoftheworld December 10, 2015