magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.

Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.

by Joshua James December 10, 2006

Turtle Waxing

To feel a girls chest, outside of the shirt, replicating the motion of hand washing or waxing a car.

I saw my friend and his girl at the movies last night, and he was totally turtle waxing.

by Chimpski November 3, 2009

The Awkward Turtle

A sex position in which the woman cocoons herself in a blanket with only her backside sticking out. The man's penis then enters her from behind. A good position while banging an ugly chick.

Paul found Mary very unattractive, but he was horny, so they just did the awkward turtle.

by chemnerd101 September 15, 2009

turtle curtle

1.) dropping a deuce on somebody's back and forcing that person to crawl around on all fours like a turtle

" i was boinking Greasy Pablo last night and as i finished up i made her do the turtle curtle"

by Strany May 28, 2006

Poll Turtle

An oddity, a rarity, something that should not happen, unexplained and unfortunate events, but essentially just a turtle sitting on a poll. Similar to Barack Obama.

One day a farmer was walking his fence. He came upon a poll turtle sitting atop one of one the fence polls. The farmer was puzzled. How did this turtle get atop of this fence? So the farmer walked up to the turtle and said "what are you doing here and who the fuck put you here?"

by RattleMeSnake March 24, 2009

sea turtles, mate

An explanation for an event that one cannot, or does not wish to, explain in a logical way.

Originated from the Pirates of the Caribbeans franchise

How did you escape the island?
Sea turtles, mate.

by yardnoc July 6, 2015

turtled

To have your backpack turned inside out and all your books placed inside it, so you can no longer wear it but must carry it around.

Dude, Mike turtled Ian's bag when he went to the bathroom.

by skibum May 16, 2005