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Jesus

1. Unequivocally bitchin'. Used where awesome, cool, sweet, dope, bangin' and monkey slappin' fail--a term so Jesus it fails to describe itself.

i.e. "That party was so Jesus!" "This guacamole is Jesuser than a motherfucker!" And the ever popular, "It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!"

2. Truth beyond truth. (Note that this usage of the term carries mystical powers, as it may be used to catalyze the transformation of previous nontruths into truths truer than other truths. It is not uncommon for a Jesus person to Jes-ify something previously nonJesus simply by using the word Jesus to describe it.)

Usage of the term 'Jesus' is highly useful to a Jesus peep. It is through this usage that a Jesus peep is able to simultaneously assert and assess the jesus-ness of him or herself and other, potentially Jesus people.
nonJesus peep: My chips and dip are so bitchin'!

Jesus peep: My chips and dip are Jesus.

Jesus peep: Hitler is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: How is Hitler Jesus? They are two completely different people. Plus, Hitler is directly responsible for the Holocaust and death of six million Jews, not to mention at least three million non Jews.

Jesus peep: Your face is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: How is my face Jesus? I was going to get a sub from blimpie today and I got bored and made eye contact with a baby and the baby started crying and I'm almost positive it was because of my face. Also, the young woman behind the counter didn't put extra jalapenos on my sub and I'm sure it's because of my face. Then I ate my sub and asked the young girl to prom and she said no because of my face and I'm sure it's because of my face!

Jesus peep: This mirror is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: Thank you so much! My face Jesuser than a motherfucker now!
by jesuser than a mofo August 11, 2010
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Jesus

Are lord an savior who died on the cross for are sins.
Jesus are father in heaven
by Ilovejesuslove777 June 5, 2017
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Jesus

jesus mean his our father and saviour ,no body in this world will have his name ,because his name is to unique
we are all jesus child
by Huien April 22, 2018
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Jesus

He is your next door neighbour, your 16th cousin, and the Christian Lord and savior.
Christian: "Did you know Jesus loves you?"
Jose: "Really? Jesus, cousin, do you love me?"
Jesus: "No, I hate you."

Atheist: "I don't believe in God.
Christian: Jesus hates you. You're going to Hell when you die.
by NickerASnicker June 11, 2018
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Jesus

He is the savour of the world and the best guy to ever meet, sadly you cant meet him since he is in heaven but if you believe in him, when you die you will have eternal life in heaven with him. He created the world and then made us, wanting us to be full of the fruits of the spirit but then man kind sinned and we were separated from him. But then he came down to earth as a human and he was sacrificed on the cross ,and it must of been extremely painful, but he done it anyway because he loves us so much. So now because he sacrificed himself, when we sin we are forgiven and he will love us even when we sin and he will never love us less or more than your neighbour. You can find out alot more about this in this awesome book called the bible.
Jesus is the savour of the universe
by LovedByJesus September 30, 2018
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Jesus

A carpenter who lived some time from 1 to 30 AD before getting executed by crucifixion.

In Christianity, he is God's son and sent to Earth to die for mankind's sins so it can be forgiven. Because of this, the cross is associated with Christianity.

Interestingly, in Islam, he is said to be a prophet rather than the son of God. He's also mentioned the most often compared to any other person in the Quran.

In both, it is written that he also preached (Christianity in the case of Christianity and Islam in the case of Islam). It's also written that Jesus was born to a person called Mary, who was a virgin - both religions agree that this was due to divine intervention.
Y'all need Jesus.
by a doorknob October 2, 2018
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Jesus

A guy who's willing to care for anyone he knows. Jesus is always positive no matter how much you think you can turn him down. Sometimes you see him alone wondering what's he thinking, probably he's having emotional thoughts either that they like to embrace loneliness.Jesus usally loves doing sports because they love to entertain people that they can do so much more, he's very athletelic! Once Jesus falls for you , you will not regret it, he will take care for you, make time for you, heck he might even kiss you out of no where! Jesus will sometimes be nervous around you when your surrounded with your friends he likes it when your with him all the time.
Jesus:"What's up man is there anything stressing you out?"
Friend:"Sup Jesus, and yea my those juniors over there keep calling me names."
Jesus:"You know what you should ignore'em and try not to create conflict".
Friend: "Alright man thank your the best".
Jesus:"Anytime bud".
by WhiteFox106 November 25, 2018
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