toothpaste in my hair 

the excuse you use when you blow someone before work and get their jizz in your hair and you try to get your coworker to cover for you so you can go home and wash the jizz out but you can’t reveal that’s it’s jizz so you say it’s toothpaste

Hey, can you cover my shift? I’ve got toothpaste in my hair.

toothpaste in my hair by Toight-like-a-tygah October 6, 2019

toothpaste body 

When a chick has a body like toothpaste, i.e. curvy in all the right places. Note how it can only apply to her figure; you must ignore the face at all costs.

"Bro, that new teacher's pretty fine, she's got a toothpaste body"

"...Yo, what the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"Nevermind the face, but you know when you squeeze her body it's like Colgate man"

"Dude stfu she's your mom lol"

toothpaste body by goodguychris August 25, 2011

toothpaste hangover 

a toothpaste hangover is when you just brushed your teeth and then you go and have some food/drink and it taste horrible b/c of the toothpaste.

aww man i got a damn "toothpaste hangover"

toothpaste hangover by heartbroken13 July 13, 2011

Toothpaste, I'd use her shit as

Term of affection about a third party

I love her so much I'd use her shit as toothpaste

Toothpaste, I'd use her shit as by Pope John-Paul II October 10, 2002

Toothpaste suicide 

When toothpaste decides to commit suicide by jumping off a toothbrush. This is usually followed by a change of clothes to avoid unwanted comments about white marks on your clothes.

This morning Jeff wat late for work because of a toothpaste suicide that dirtied his black pants.

Toothpaste suicide by koggelmander June 14, 2013

Toothpaste Remedy 

The best thing to put on a bee sting

He used the Toothpaste remedy.

Toothpaste Remedy by funkypigeon100 February 28, 2017

Toothpaste promise 

Noun. A representation made, usually in advertising, that sounds impressive, but is effectively meaningless.
Based on the claim that all toothpaste ads make, i.e. 70% more effective (than brushing without toothpaste).

They said I could save hundreds of dollars per year on my car insurance, but that was compared to someone who never shops around, and has had the same policy for 10 years. It's always cheaper to switch to any other insurance company after a couple of years, so it was a total toothpaste promise.

Toothpaste promise by Werdenschmidt February 7, 2021