turbo thinker

n; an individual that can both respond to divergent (or varied in number and novelty) lines of thought at once and offer divergent list of responses in return. Signified by rapid stream of consciousness responses which may seem like a laundry list of hypothetical possible outcomes, data and analysis. Expounds exuberantly.

Prone to inducing sensory overload in listeners from too much information.

Sometimes confused with a shit talker, but is more relevant to the subject matter of the topic of conversation. Also may be confused with a 'know-it-all' but without the tell-tale condescension or hubris.

Occasionally found with backgrounds in linguistics, aesthetics and animal husbandry. Sometimes but not exclusively found working in Health food stores or local co-ops.

"Holy frigin swampdonkies, that Johnson kid's a wicked frigin turbo thinker! I run into him where he works at the hardware store asked about lint rollers, lightning rods and aluminum foil and couple of hours later I walked out of there thinking down was up, the Grand canyon was a big hole to dig and god made math to confuse monkeys! I frig near stubbed my brain stem.'

by rob dianome October 27, 2008

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Black and white thinkers

Conservatives. They tend to think largely in terms of absolutes. Now don't get me wrong, absolute values are important - by no means do I support moral relativism - but it's necessary to recognize the many shades of grey involved in individual cases too. That is, after all, what situational ethics is all about.
I suspect that many of the conservatives I've met don't recognize these gray areas largely because of their absolutist religious upbringing.

A few scenarios:
A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderate: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.
Liberal: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).
Conservative: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)

I had a much better example but the stupid character limit fucked me over.

See my future definition, Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder for that one.

I blame religion for turning so many conservatives into black and white thinkers.

And this is why I dislike religion - it so often stops people from thinking. If people were encouraged to think in terms of individual cases as opposed to coming to each and every unique situation with a preconceived bias (abortion is MURDER!)...well, I don't know. We might have a better world. Just maybe.

by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011

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social thinker

n. Person who doesn't think to excess; someone who isn't dim but who can't be bothered to cogitate in school.

The square root of 64? Are you kidding me? I am totally just a social thinker.

I studied hard all last semester and nearly lost all my friends. But, with the help of some total slackers, I managed to turn my life around and now I'm just a social thinker.

by gnostic1 September 10, 2011

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