Customer Service

A job which causes your ass to bleed like hell, your psyche to be corrupted by severe hatred and psychosis, and which has significantly increased the suicide rate of humans. You always have to take it up the ass by these whiny, bitchy, brain-fucked assholes that are called "customers" who do nothing but scream, complain, and make your life a living hell. Finding an actual intelligent and non-bitchy customer is like selling a pack of Grand Prix cigarettes: it's so fucking rare that it almost never happens.
-"I'm sorry but I do not have enough money to cash this payroll check at the moment."
"What? No, I want a manager, right now."
"Fine, bitch, I'll call a manager for you, but it's not going to change the fact that I don't have enough money in my fucking till."

-"OMG THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE EVER HAD, YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHEETOS IN STOCK, THAT'S IT IM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN, WALMART IS GOING TO DRIVE YOUR ASS OUT OF TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go ahead. I'm a full-time college student working almost a full-time job at minimum wage, sleep-deprived and hardly getting homework done on time. You don't know how few shits I give."

-"I want your number to corporate because these cookies rang up 99 cents more than advertised!!!"

-"OMG THATS IT IM REPORTING YOU GUYS TO THE BBB FOR FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!"
"Cool story bro, want a fucking trophy or something?"

-"I swear, once I graduate and receive my degree, I'm going to kiss all of you asshole customers goodbye for a real job!"
by corruptedbyhate April 09, 2013
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Terms Of Service

This long ass shit that's about the rules and regulations about the shit you're agreeing to and it's like 50 fuckin thousand pages long that no one reads anymore. Yeah it's important but what's more important is clicking the "I Agree" button.
Person: Hmmm..*goes through terms of service*....*Scrolls all the way down to the page*....*Clicks "I Agree"* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
by lespritenbanana February 17, 2015
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hipster service

When an establishment has staff or labour that projects a sense of aloofness, general unfriendliness, cultural arrogance, a focus on style over quality, shallowness, and general superficial focus. Often seen in bars and cafes where the staff should obviously not be in the service industry due to a lack of friendliness, intelligence, charisma, concern, and ability to actually connect with people and customers.

This happens often in bars where a few hipsters are first hired, and then through the general segregated and rigid nature of hipster culture, only other hipster are hired. Before long, only hipsters work at the establishment and an air of malaise sinks deep into the cultural fabric of the establishment. Leaving a hollow empty feeling that alternatives crowds generally curse the mainstream for. The irony being of course that in the great search for a service sector job and the search to be unique, different, and stylized, the hipster service-members have unknowingly created their own mainstream with similar rules, social conventions, and inability to connect with people.
Person 1: Ou, what a cool bar. Everything LOOKS great, theres even a turntable.
Person 2: Yeah, on the surface it looks fun. That turntable is only playing hip-hop though.

Person 3: This place sucks, I just went to get a pint.

Person 1: What happened?
Person 2: The staff didn't break a smile despite me engaging him, and he couldn't even have a basic conversation even though its dead. Classic hipster service.
by Carl Bostikine Floush November 10, 2017
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eye service

working only when the boss is around
by l.a. webb August 22, 2003
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postal service

A band created by Ben Gibbard and Jimmy Tamborello sending lyrics and rhythms back and forth through mail. Has the most crazy amazing lyrics ever created. Not to be confused with the US Postal Service.
by Ellie April 17, 2004
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service bottom

A submissive that prefers to give sexual offers than receive them.
god, i'm such a service bottom, i LOVE going down on my master.
by soph i doph March 13, 2019
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Service Advisor

Helps people at the dealership when they are having car problems.
Service Advisor works long hours, gets paid very little, and takes the blame for everything.
by dcdlrjrcp October 10, 2009
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