facebook orphan

Any child who is left to their own devices with respect to entertainment and basic social needs due to a parent or guardian spending countless unproductive hours on social networking websites, resulting in an impaired ability to socialize with other humans. Often can be seen having lengthy conversations with him/herself and inanimate objects intended for play such as dolls, stuffed Muppet characters and thomas the train sets.

Lady #1 at bus stop: Have you noticed that Johnny has a really hard time relating to the other kids? For heaven's sake, he can't even do the Cotton-Eye-Joe!

Lady #2 at bus stop: Yeah, well, his mom got a new laptop to celebrate her recent divorce and he's become another facebook orphan.

by spazaroni February 11, 2009

blood orphan

A self-made orphan by way of violently murdering their own parents and then bathing and/or consuming the parents' blood.

What Daddy Warbucks didn't know was that Annie was actually a blood orphan.

by Madtracula August 29, 2018

Dutch orphan

The act of silently farting in a group of people, then sneaking off to leave the abondoned smell to be credited to someone else in the group.

Jack squeaked out a Dutch orphan before heading off to the bathroom. When he got back the room had cleared and an argument over who supplied the smell had started.

by Squeedlyspooch July 24, 2010

Thanksgiving orphan

Someone who has nowhere to go on Thanksgiving because they are far away from family and friends. A Thanksgiving orphan is someone who is taken in by friends or another family to share in the Thanksgiving feast.

"When I was in college, my neighbors took me in as a Thanksgiving orphan."

by Jenny Manning December 15, 2008

Orphan Tears

The best Your Favorite Martian song, and if you don't agree you can suck this moby dick mf!

Guy A: "I just finished watching Orphan Tears! To hat shit was dope!"
Guy B: "Fuck you"

by Jeef The Dumbass June 6, 2022

Orphan Key

Many people have a stash of old keys in a drawer or cabinet for "future use." Some keys have been there so long that you no longer remember what they're for. A bike lock? An old car? A cabinet at work? These are Orphan Keys.

"Honey, can we get rid of those stupid Orphan Keys in the strong box?"

"Absolutely not! One of them might open that safe we buried in the back yard during the Nixon administration...if we can find it."

by Peter Kobs August 25, 2009

weekend orphan

A kid whose parents are essentially “dead to the world” on the weekends due to addiction.

Heading into Friday afternoon I was already a full-blown weekend orphan.

by Dr Bunnygirl October 19, 2019