Nordic Skiing

A sport that although requires people to be very fit, requires no skill at all nor does it require one to have any balls. It is for people who want to ski but are too afraid of going 40 mph down an icy mountain. Unlike downhill skiers, nordic skiers cannot do tricks off of big jumps, cannot ski fast through deep powder in the woods, and cant huck off of cliffs. Nordic skiing is not real skiing. This is only when talking about male nordic skiers. nordic skier girls are hot and sexy and need to keep doing what they do.
bill- damn did you see those girls in that spandex? they were all sexy as hell.

jim- yeah thats the girls nordic skiing team. they stay in really good shape.
by VT skier May 24, 2009
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Nordic Skiing

A type of skiing that requires no skill. People join this sport if they suck at sports because Nordic skiing is easy. All of the losers join this sport if they want to Ski but arent good enough to do Downhill. Wusses also join because they are afraid of going 30-40mph down a steep hill.
Stuart: "Hey guys, lets go downhill skiing"

Riley: "Sorry, man I have no skill so I'm going to go Nordic skiing."

Nick: "Yeah, I'm a wuss and not tough enough to do Downhill so I'm going with Riley."
by StuartZ February 03, 2007
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A militant arm of the Nordic Kulturpoliti, heavily criticized for employing brutal brain-washing techniques outlawed by the Oslo Convention of 2019.
Disbanded as a governmental agency by Emperor Gissur in 2025 on suspicions of "coaxial metacide", but rogue elements continued operating in the Netherlands and Belgium until 2051 when it disintergrated after the retaliatory assassination of its leader Jan Saemund Kristleifsson.
The MNPA is considered to have been responsible for the assassination of Emperor Gissur in 2050, which instigated the escalation of the Kattegat Channel Conflict and the collapse of the Holy Nordic Empire in 2066.
The president has no control over them, he has already shut their funding, but they are like the Militant Nordic Publishers Accociation.
by Gissur December 08, 2004
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Although true that the MNPA was involved in small scale brainwashing atrocities they have been largely misrepresented in historical records. It´s founding member Ingjaldur Magnus Member, born in Lapland originally conceived the junta to oppose the legislation to outlaw jingoistic, lappish tea-drinking traditions, soon found himself brainwashing citizens indiscriminately. In 2046 the "loco lap" as he came to be known was assissinated. Jan Saemund Kristleifsson, his successor was believed to be behind Ingjaldur´s gruesome murder. His body was found in a New Oslo sauna where he had been incarcerated for three years until finally succumbing to dysentery. Jan Saemund quickly started to focus the MNPA´s considerable resources to eradicate the practice of wilgeldungspierhalt.
This rapidly lost him supporters within the MNPA, and after the assassination of Emperor Gissur, the ranks of the MNPA dwindled to near-extinction, lost to the ravages of meta-war during the rise of the Kattegat Channel Conflict. He was assassinated by his lieutenants in 2051, who having become dissilliusioned by Jan's obsession dismantle the MNPA.

Ragnar Michael, Jan's 2nd in command became the Eurasian Minister of Information, and is believed to have started a campaign to defame Jan Saemundur and the MNPA, condemning them to the historical gulag.
by Henry Egilsson III December 10, 2004
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nordic tickler

The northern climate utensil that is undeniable by the ladies in throws of passion!
Until her loins were warmed by the Nordic tickler there was a real chance of frostbite.
by Knuckle’s October 03, 2022
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Nordic Trac

When you are fucking a girl from behind and just before she reaches orgasm you start packing snow or ice shavings into her asshole.
Yo! I gave that bar skank a Nordic Trac last night bro!
by Albino Rabbit August 13, 2013
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nordic alien

the term "nordic aliens" is a hilarious slang term for white people. it originates from the type of extraterrestrial commonly known as "nordic aliens" due to their humanoid shape, blonde hair, and blue eyes.
use case one:

A: wow who's that guy in the white house
B: he's a nordic alien
A: i heard he had a weird looking penis
B: all nordic aliens do

use case two:

A: the nordic aliens are really fucking up the neighborhood with their sting music and selzer
B: fucking nords at it again
by skullymundo January 31, 2025
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