An invitation to an event given solely because of the invitee's close proximity to a conversation about said event.
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
by Reuben Z. Clitz August 20, 2009
Get the Proximity invitation mug.The Cadet Initiation is a series of tasks a new cadet has to perform when he becomes a cadet -- one of mine was to give a blowjob to any other cadet who wanted one - which was all of them!
by USAF Cadet October 8, 2020
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Person A lays on the floor while Person B takes off their pants and stands over Person A's face. Person C pours a beer down Person B's ass crack, causing the beer to drip of Person B's taint, into Person A's mouth.
by crispiness December 17, 2008
Get the Moose Lodge Initiation mug.Combination of "invitation" and "obligation". This is an invitation which creates an obligation for the invitee.
Did you get that invigation from Duncan? He invited us to the concert, and then asked to ride with us. What a douche nozzle.
by VTdaddio August 1, 2012
Get the Invigation mug.Them - Can you help me hand out invitations
Me - Sure, am I invited?!
Them -Um...
(Goes home and cries)
Me - Sure, am I invited?!
Them -Um...
(Goes home and cries)
by CryingAllDay April 6, 2017
Get the invitations mug.an illegal act that an incoming penn state football player must go through in order to earn a roster spot. these acts include, but are not limited to, using and/or selling drugs, raping some drunk female, assaulting a female, dui, and so on. failure to commit an illegal act such as these ultimately results in that football player being thrown off the team.
penn state football is notorious for having the most unruly, misbehaved players. obviously they are not required to commit an illegal act to be on the team but because 93% of them have been arrested i just came up with the conclusion that
all the football players have to go through some sort of initiation.
penn state football is notorious for having the most unruly, misbehaved players. obviously they are not required to commit an illegal act to be on the team but because 93% of them have been arrested i just came up with the conclusion that
all the football players have to go through some sort of initiation.
guy 1: oh my god! isn't that our star freshman quarterback? why is he raping
that nun on top of a cop car with a bottle of bacardi in one hand and a crack
pipe in the other hand?
guy 2: hmm, must be his penn state football player initiation.
guy 1: oh ya, that's right. let's go sit on lawn chairs in front of JoePa's house and masturbate.
that nun on top of a cop car with a bottle of bacardi in one hand and a crack
pipe in the other hand?
guy 2: hmm, must be his penn state football player initiation.
guy 1: oh ya, that's right. let's go sit on lawn chairs in front of JoePa's house and masturbate.
by himminy hoohah March 23, 2009
Get the penn state football player initiation mug.A term used in certain sports that involve intimidation. When you have 2 intimidating people, you don't put them one right after the other. That would be a mountain. If you spread out the intimidating people, you make a plateau. This is to ensure that throughout the whole game there will always be an intimidating person to come.
Big Intimidating Guy 1: Are you going to bat after me in this inning?
Big Intimidating Guy 2: No, we need an intimidation plateau.
Big Intimidating Guy 1: A what?
Big Intimidating Guy 2: An intimidation plateau.
Big Intimidating Guy 1: Ok.
Big Intimidating Guy 2: No, we need an intimidation plateau.
Big Intimidating Guy 1: A what?
Big Intimidating Guy 2: An intimidation plateau.
Big Intimidating Guy 1: Ok.
by MarrBond November 9, 2006
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