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Epic Douche

When someone is such a fucking tool, he surpasses the previously insurmountable title of mega douche, and therefore the only adjective left is epic.

The Epic Douche is easily identifiable as being a complete dick to everyone, having an incredibly hot girlfriend he doesn't deserve, enjoys rap even though he's whiter than Elton John, wearing mostly Hollister and Abercrombie, and driving a really nice car that his parents bought him, though he calls it his own. Of course, each Epic Douche has even more dickish characteristics unique to his pathetic little existence, not just the ones above.
Chris: Dude, Logan is such an epic douche, he first cheated off my final, and then when Mr. Tharp asked him about it, he said I cheated off of HIM! What the fuck, dude?
Nick: I hear ya dude, a week ago he stuck his Blackberry over the stall door and took a picture while I was taking a leak, and now everyone in school knows I pee sitting down like a girl.
Chris: You do?
Nick: Yes...
(Awkward silence)
by xCFHx July 25, 2009
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douche off

{From a flashlight reviews website}: ...or if it falls next to the mailbox and the dog pisses on it, just take the garden hose to it or douche it off under the faucet...good as new!

Helen: Please be certain to douche off those dishes before loading them into the dishwasher.

Norm: Yesh, I douched out that cooler with the hose, so it shouldn't stink at all any more.
by Telephony December 6, 2011
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Galactic douchebag

One who has transcended to a near unachievable plane of douchebaggery. This douchebag is considered extremely rare, and "not of this world". They are more appropriately labeled as "not of this solar system", or "Galactic". Achieving this level of douchebaggery is widely accepted as only theoretically possible.
Paul: "What the fuck is wrong with THAT asshole"?

Mike: Bro, don't even try to figure it out. Justin is a douchebag on a "galactic scale"....or Justin is a "Galactic douchebag".
by Nadasurfer March 27, 2015
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douche hag

Noun, calqued on the masculine douche bag.

The female equivalent of a douche bag. A woman with an overinflated sense of self worth, usually accompanied by a deficiency of intelligence. May also be compounded by excessive negligence towards or ill treatment of others. A douche hag does not typically realize there are others close by of equal or indeed superior intelligence and culture. She often lacks a sense of irony, particularly in the sense that her negative comments about others could be apt descriptors of herself.
Tommy: "Look at that girl dominating the conversation and trying to act cool. She has been talking for nearly 30 minutes, and seems incapable of inquiring what others think. She keeps talking about what she likes, what she thinks, acting as if she were the arbiter of taste or culture."

Bobby: "Ugh, does she think she is the first to discover NPR or continental philosophy? Who even thinks those things are cool?"

Tommy: "Yeah, she is a total douche hag."
by Cafone December 20, 2010
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douche-gobbler

Someone who has exceded the limitations of being an ordinary douchebag or doucher. Someone that is so lame their only purpose on this earth is gobbling douches.
Tim is such a huge douche-gobbler because he is mainly concerned with the north fargo taco bell closing
by EmDix January 20, 2009
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Harley Douchebag

A guy who thinks that just because he's bought a Harley, it makes him cool and tough.
Frank is a cool guy until he gets around his Harley, then he turns into a right Harley Douchebag.
by Ljamc May 18, 2012
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tour de douche

"A peloton of weekend warrior d-bags clogging up the roadways decked out in full cycling regalia, led by a yellow jersey'd supreme douche extraordinaire."
I was late to work because I got stuck behind the tour de douche.
by Zephyr007 October 14, 2015
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