bidet

An automatic ass cleaner using water at a water temperature and power of your choice. Can be installed as a completely different comode or in the same toilet seat itself. The evolution from using standard toilet paper and digging into your arse hole to remove that brown excrement.

"If you're still using toilet paper you're living in the 19th century and beyond. Wake up you bastards and get a bidet. NO HANDS needed to dig into your ass. When your done hosing your ass down, just PAT dry with a single square of TP."

by Anonymous March 12, 2005

shit in the bidet

Verb phrase. To commit a serious faux pas when mingling with people completely outside your normal circle, especially when they're higher on the social ladder than you. From the caricature of a working class person getting confused by the extra piece of furniture in a better-off person's bathroom.

"Only demanded they heat up my gazpacho, didn't I?"

"God, you shat in the bidet there, mate."

by Dave June 19, 2004

Bidick

When you pierce your cock to your asshole that way after you shit you can just piss and it cleans the shit off kind of like a bidet

Hey did you wipe after you shit? No I bidicked it

by Bidickerator October 31, 2019

Missouri Bidet

When a person poops under the surface of a body of water (lake, river, etc), they receive extra cleansing in their anal region from carp attracted to the defecation.

-I took an aqua dump and got a Missouri Bidet in Party Cove over labor day weekend

-We forgot toilet paper on the boat, so hopefully there are carp in this lake for a Missouri Bidet

by TriTooner September 6, 2011

Tennessee bidet

When a large man from the Midwest spackles the porcelain and has no toilet paper he uses a hot tub in the southern states.

Kris had came to the conclusion that Mitch did a “Tennessee bidet” after his analysis of the crime scene of the bathroom.

by Freto5 March 21, 2021

Redneck Bidet

A lit cherry bomb is flushed down a toilet, and the blast creates overpressure which forces water out of the toilet trap, spraying the user in the ass.

"Nick is in the hospital after botching the redneck bidet."

by 2Vague February 15, 2022

Joe Bidin

A stupid way of saying the POTUS's name

Joe Bidin went to Bali G20 last week.

by 123rrr1234r November 17, 2022