The Unemployment Aisle

This is where you can do self check out in grocery stores and such.

I'm in such a hurry and I only have 3 things to buy. I'm just going to have to use the unemployment aisle!

by cher_cherbear January 5, 2017

headline unemployment

(ECONOMICS) Total unemployed, as a percent of the civilian labor force (official unemployment rate). Does not include discouraged workers. Also referred to as "U-3" by the US Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

The BLS regularly publishes six estimates of unemployment. The others are U-1, U-3, U-4, U-5, and U-6. Eurostat publishes one monthly estimate of unemployment for the European Union, which is approximately midway between U-3 and U-4.

The unemployment statistics for the USA are collected through a monthly Current Population Survey (CPS) (also known as the household survey) and an establishment survey.

Given the way the government's headline unemployment rate is calculated, it can never reach 14%. This is because the civilian labor force includes only people who are working or have looked for a job in the previous four weeks. When the economy gets really bad (like now), unemployed workers get discouraged and give up looking for jobs. This causes the civilian labor force to decline as fast or faster than total employment.

{Louis Woodhill, "On Track for 14% Unemployment," RealClearMarkets (12 Jan 2010)}

by Abu Yahya July 19, 2010

Circular Unemployment

A paradoxical state of such extreme inactivity that it starts to look like productivity. The person isn't busy—they're just so deep in an unemployed lifestyle (sleeping at 5PM, gooning at 3AM, forgetting what day it is) that they appear unreachable, booked, or on some mysterious grind. Unlike regular “unemployed” behavior (watching TikToks, sending memes, knowing slang like “ikiab” or “sybau”), circular unemployment is so advanced that even that stops. They disappear from socials, leave messages on read, and miss every trend—not because they’re working, but because they’re doing absolutely nothing.
The term “circular” refers to how inactivity loops around and mimics busyness. You think they’re slammed with life, but really they’re just lying in bed, completely detached from time, people, and pop culture.

Symptoms include:
– Ignoring texts for days
– Sending “just woke up” at 6PM
– Not knowing any viral trends
– Appearing mysterious or “deep” while actually gooning
– Social invisibility despite being online 24/7

“They haven’t replied in three days, but they also haven’t seen a single TikTok trend all week – classic case of circular unemployment.”

"Bro I thought he had an internship or something—turns out he’s just in full circular unemployment."

by marabus April 22, 2025

Unemployment Rate

The difference between hiring graduate and students compared to hires experienced professionals and then mixing them together and kicking some out and hiring at random.

No one could believe there where so many unemployed experieced people with degrees, it must be the unemployment rate. But it could also be the morons prioritizing people without work degree hires for ones without who have more experience.

by Patrick the Starfish001 September 28, 2022

Federal Unemployment Tax Act

The "Federal Unemployment Tax Act," apart from a U.S. law, is an acronym for FUTA. Futa, short for futanari, is a term that is commonly used to describe pornographic anime/manga characters that have a feminine body (breasts, vulva) and male sex organs (penis, sometimes a scrotum). Search "futanari" for more detail, at your own risk.

While using the phrase "Federal Unemployment Tax Act" in this way is rare, it may happen.

6th grader: You should look up the acronym for the federal unemployment tax act!!!
Sane person: I lost the game :{

by Montage of Chips March 18, 2025