I shit you not one cent

used to state that a story is 100% true, no matter now insane, silly, or crazy it sounds, "one cent" is the part stating that not even 1% of this story is fake

"i shit you not one cent, the tiger did a backflip" roger said to george

by Insert inside joke here July 13, 2022

my asshole hurts from taking shits that I don’t give

When you REALLY don’t care about anything/anyone

Toxic little kid: Dude you suck ass at this game. I don’t understand why anyone wants to play with you or even talk to you.
Me: Bro my asshole hurts from taking shits that I don’t give.
Everyone in the voice channel: *laughs*

by Fireguy47 September 25, 2020

look at my own arse when I shit

When you are that busy, that you don't even have time to look down when you are having a shit because you are too focused on something, you have to take it into the bathroom with you and use the toilet as a temporary office
Extreme measures involve having to wipe without even checking the state of the tissue before flushing it.

'I had that many emails coming through that I had to reply to, I didn't even have time to look at my own arse when I shit.'

by Davethefan August 9, 2015

I eat more than I shit a lot.

In the song "One Way Out" by Niels Van Gogh the song lyric is "I knew more than I shouldn't lie." However, due to a mistranslation it sounds more like "I eat more than I shit a lot."
This is used to when your kill-death ratio is excellent in Call of Duty Online Multiplayer.

Dang Son! I got 32 kills and only 1 death! I eat more than I shit a lot.

by Rhimjob June 21, 2011

no fucking shit, lady! do i sound like i'm ordering a pizza?

A quote from a movie called "die hard", meaning: obviously!
Usually used in phone conversations.

Supervisor: Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only...
Detective John McClane: No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

by whatdoyoudialtogetoutofthematrix January 22, 2004

Oh shit, I just cheesed

An exclamation used when cheese gets thrown into the mix during sexual intercourse.

Johhny was jerking off in the pantry when his elbow hit a shelf, dropping a slice of cheese onto his dick, reaching orgasm as the tender cheese carresed his engorged glands.
"Oh shit, I just cheesed", he exclaimed.

by World_cheese_centre_2001 February 6, 2024

i shitted my pants

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i shitted my pants again

by ausboss20001 October 8, 2023