Raptor Jesus 

Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said: "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus.

One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent.

Raptor Jesus by Anon Divad January 2, 2008

Raptor Snatch 

1. To grab or steal an object so quickly while yelling "RAPTOR SNATCH" that the victim does not have time to react and usally is extremely embarrassed.

"Man, he totally raptor snatched my cigarette out of my mouth"

Raptor Snatch by bitboy36 December 20, 2008

Raptor Math 

The act of mathematically determining your survival time should a velociraptor begin an attack at that very moment.

“Check my Raptor Math, here, but I think we'd have a 2.3 second survival time if a raptor came through that window.”

Raptor Math by Skudworth February 4, 2012

raptor hands 

Raptor hands is a position in which you hold your arms so your elbows are bent in roughly a right angle in front of you with your wrists and hands relaxed. Many autistic people naturally rest their arms in this position.

Tsuyu from My Hero Academia always has raptor hands! I wonder if she's autistic!

raptor hands by sighzawa May 14, 2019

Raptor Claw 

Inserting the thumb into the vagina and four fingers into the ass and then pinching.

A) So did you give her the Shocker?
B) No, I gave her the Raptor Claw!

Raptor Claw by MSUDelta July 27, 2009

raptor status 

A high level of intoxication, pretty much black-out drunk, that you hold your arms and posture like a raptor and make groans and grunts.

Uh-oh! Billy is raptor status.

raptor status by tanningsalon May 18, 2011

raptor jesus 

A meme that rose to fame when it was the 900,000th post on 4chan's /b/ (which now has over 40 million posts). Consists of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto a picture of Jesus.

Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins.

raptor jesus by adeb December 24, 2007