Porcelain palsy

The temporary lack of sensation and occasional paralytic effect on the legs as a result of spending too much time on the toilet, usually due to spending a long time on social media or reading a good book.

I made the mistake of throwing down in a meme war on FB while in the bathroom.
After an hour or so, I couldn't stand up because I was a victim of the dreaded porcelain palsy.

by rev. ray July 30, 2016

painting porcelain

the act of defecating on such a large scale that the interior of a normally white porcelain toilet bowl is rendered an entirely different color, typically brown

"Jim, where are you headed off to in such a hurry?"
"I don't think that oyster burrito agreed with me. I'm pretty sure it's gonna have me painting porcelain."

by triebkore March 16, 2012

Porcelain Drips

Taking a shit but only burning drops of liquid feces are expelled. They sting the sphincter so bad that you grab the handicap bars, grimace with pain, clench your teeth and wish someone would shove an ice cube up your ass just to cool it down. If you didn't know better, you'd think hot lava was pouring from your bung.

Carl partied all night and then made a trip to Taco Hell. He suffered the next morning with the porcelain drips.

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017

Porcelain Bus

Name given to the toilet when vomiting, used in reference to holding the seat while spewing in the same manner as you would hold a bus steering wheel. Not to be confused with the porcelain pony as quoted above

Shit, I had a few too many jagers, I think i may need to drive the porcelain bus

by timb082 February 5, 2009

porcelain magnets

you shit with such force that it obtains an adhesive that allows it to stick to the walls of the toilet

I had post-mexican blowout and discovered my tirade left the toilet riddled with porcelain magnets.

by Porcelain Magneteer October 18, 2007

Porcelain Cowboy

Banging a girl from behind while she vomits into a toilet. Best used when said girl is completely hammered.

I gave Cally the Porcelain Cowboy last night. She was so trashed. I was like 'Yippee Ki-ah mother fucker! *smack*'

by jterry September 16, 2007

STAIN THE PORCELAIN

to take a dump; drop a deuce; pinch a loaf; drop the Cosby kids off at the pool.

Man, did I ever stain the porcelain when I woke up this morning!

by weave March 26, 2003