Masturtate

The act of masturbating while meditating.

When the stress of life got to be too much, Jim would often masturtate to relieve the stress.

by weaselyjon October 2, 2012

Masterbaterium

A room build or allocated for the sole purpose of spanking yer love hose, wanking in general or having a wankparty. Usually painted an off yellow colour and containing a sink and towels.

I will be back in a moment Im just going to polish my bishop in the Masterbaterium. Good boy, make sure you use the wanklock on the door.

by DrLoveNuts July 25, 2007

Masturbate

Something done to one's body to relieve horniness. When a woman's pussy becomes wet, she will massage her clitoris and other surrounding pubic areas. Also, she may slide a finger/fingers/toy/small object into her pussy to imitate a penis. Men's dicks will become hard when they are horny, so they resort to rubbing their penis up and down causing stimulating friction. These physical interactions are also sometimes accompanied by audio or visual stimulation.

I came home feeling really horny after reading definition #7 of Horny on Urban Dictionary. I went into my bathroom and grabbed my tube of lube and a Q-tip. I carried these things into my room where I slid off my skirt and panties and flopped onto my bed with a sigh. I spread my thighs open and coated the Q-tip with lube. I then started gently rubbing around my clit with the Q-tip. I shuddered and smiled. As I rubbed, I got closer and closer to my clit and started moaning. Then i reached my hand up my blouse and started rubbing and grabbing my nipples. I continued to grope my boobs as I got even closer to my clit. Then, I hit it. I shuddered and squealed with delight. I rubbed diagonally across my clit which drove me nuts. Then I threw down the Q-tip and dug my fingers toward my clit. I started massaging it with one finger, then two, then my whole hand. I arched my back and screamed with pleasure. Then, I slipped my middle finger into my pussy, while still massaging my clit. I pulled it in and out. Then I hit my g-spot. I cummed everywhere. I got up, still rubbing my clit, and got my vibrator, then sprawled back onto the bed. 10 minutes later, I was asleep with my fingers on my clitoris and my vibrator in my pussy. I love to masturbate.

by SomeRandomUDUser July 18, 2016

Macturbater

One who buys and promotes the use of Apple products on the grounds that they are "the best computers in the world" but is largely ignorant about computer tech and other industry facts.

A full-fledged macturbater owns and operates the latest and greatest Apple products. They may brag about their "16GB of RAM and Retina Display" when they typically only use those features to watch porn and/or Instagram pictures of their cats with the hashtag #iphoneonly.

Stefan purchased the latest Macbook Pro and won't shut up about how great 16GB of RAM is. He uses it to photoshop photos and maybe occasionally develop CSS. I can do all that with my 5 year old Dell running Windows XP. He's such a Macturbater.

by legittalon July 1, 2012

Madturbate

What someone's 4 year old son with down syndrome says he does with the vacuum cleaner every night.

When I asked my roommate Collin's son why he uses the vacuum cleaner every night, he says he's doing madturbate.

by collymclolly January 10, 2021

Mastuhater

A person who strongly discourages masturbation.

The anti-masturbation position is often predicated on the belief that masturbation saps sexual energy and/or is shameful.

People who argue against masturbation describe it as an addiction harmful to spiritual and bodily health that over time erodes self-control, frustrates romantic relationships, and corrupts morals.

SITUATION - Wife discovers husband masturbating

Wife: "What are you doing!?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Great, now you won't be 'up' for having sex tonight."
Husband: "Sorry, I was horny..."
Wife: "Don't you have any self-control!?"
Husband: mumbling
Wife: "What was that?"
Husband: "Nothing, I was just saying that sometimes I'd rather jerk off... It's easier and kinda feels better."
Wife: "You're going to Hell, ya know."
Husband: "Come on, stop being such a mastuhater!"

by ORAmojo November 1, 2010

cry masturbate

this is a term used when you are so sad that you are brought to tears, and you use those delicate tears as lubrication and give yourself a run around the town. It's sad, pathetic, and often done after you break up with your significant other but aren't fortunate enough to have breakup sex.

Ted and I are over, so I'm gonna go cry masturbate

by whaijorgeh November 12, 2013