messy martinez

When you get a sloppy blowjob while being illegally transported from Mexico to America.

Juan: Hola Jose
Jose: Hola juan
Juan: Jose how'd you get to America without a visa?
Jose: My friend drove me here, he hid me in the back of his truck with a bunch of people.
Juan: How was the ride?
Jose: Terrible! Up until Esmeralda gave me a MESSY MARTINEZ.

by Cameljoe June 9, 2014

Gabriel Martinelli

Gabriel Martinelli

The greatest. Football player for Arsenal and Brazil. Simply one of the greatest of all time. Some say he is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. Rumoured to be the love child and Pele and, Cristiano Ronaldo . He also has a huge cock which strikes fear into his opposition, ice cold killer.

Mason Greenwood is so overrated, he's just a, twerking twat, instead of playing football he should be on swarmz (UK rapper) Instagram live. He will never be the level of, Gabriel Martinelli.

by GABRIEL MARTINELLI THE SAVIOUR April 28, 2020

Martin Freeman

One sexy-ass mofo of a BAMF.
Fuck you, he won a BAFTA!
Often likened to a hedgehog.

Who's that guy made of kittens holding that pot of jam?
Oh that's just Martin Freeman....

by JAWWWWWN June 12, 2012

Marching the Penguin

Masturbating

House: You mix rocking, grunting, sweating, and dystonia with concerned parents, and you get an amateur diagnosis of epilepsy. In actuality, all your little girl is doing is saying "Yoo-hoo" to the hoo-hoo.
Mom: She's what?
House: Marching the penguin. Ya-yaing the sisterhood. Finding Nemo. It's called gratification disorder. It's sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify one's self, that would be a disorder.
Mom: Are you saying she's masturbating?
House: I was trying to be discrete, there is a child in the room.

by houseism June 24, 2009

Marching Orders

Any instructions handed down from on high which clearly delineate where to go and what to do.

I don't care what you think, my marching orders came from the CEO, so if you don't like it you can take it up with him.

by jennix March 19, 2012

pull a martin

Quit your job to move somewhere else for your significant other, then break up with her/him and move back within 6 months

Try not to pull a Martin

by microsoftie October 16, 2013

Schmegtastic Jack Martin

A term often used for someone whom possesis a extreme amount of Schmegma

That lad over there he’s a full on schmegtastic jack Martin

by TheDogFondller May 28, 2020