brutal hj

a handjob given using the motion one might use to remove the lid from a jar

liam loves brutal hjs

by hfbc August 30, 2006

Lazy HJ

The act of receiving a handjob while being passed out or asleep.

Brock got drunk the other night, he passed out and my girlfriend gave him a lazy hj and he woke up.

by sandness March 6, 2011

one pump hj

The act of initiating and finishing a hand job in one, earth-shatteringly pleasurable pump. It cannot be completed more than once in any 24 hour span, or the receiver will die a horrible, agonizing death.

Feeling spicy, the middle-aged man asked for an OPHJ. The crazy lady obliged...steadied herself, and in one quick motion finished the man off with a loud yell followed by a quick jerking motion. Groaning, the man immediately fell asleep on the floor. Thus, she had performed the fabled one pump hj.

by bluejayxcCampy February 18, 2009

Loose-HJ

A very sloppy and tired Hand Job. It is what happens when you are getting a Hand Job from an out of shape person.

"Hey Dude, did you hook up with that fat chick last night?"
"Yeah, and she gave me a loose-HJ, it was terrible."
"Damn dude that sucks."

by Hiram August 13, 2006

crazy like hj

Crazy like Hayley Jane (popular singer/songwriter), specifically in a very creative sense and/or fickle with relationships.

"Did you hear that? That chick is crazy like HJ!"

by zacanger June 15, 2007

Sloppy HJ

A poor hand job (HJ) often bootleg in nature such as in a closet or while other people are in the room. Decreases the odds of orgasm and may lead to blue balls and or bleeding.

Something you wish was skipped and went straight to giving brain.

The lowest form in the hierarchy of the hookup.

"She give me a sloppy HJ"

"Yeah man I went to this party and this girl gave me a sloppy HJ under the poker table."

"We were hookin up and all I got was a sloppy HJ. WTF? Get down bitch"

by AK!!! November 14, 2007

Hump Day HJ Special

The happy ending special. Do it yourself, and its half off. Only available at participating vendors. Cannot be combined with other promotions including, but not limited to Midnight Mouth tricks, Presidents Day Oral Office, St. Nicks White Christmas, The Turkey Roast and the bring your Daddy to work it day.

Oh Jeez, the Bone-in of the week sounds completely filling, but tell me about the Hump Day HJ Special... That sounds more up my alley!

by OOOOH, Its a Steeaaak! March 29, 2011