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grooming excuse

Any use of a feeble, or implausible excuse used by someone to escape from a conversation on a mind-numbing, or uninteresting topic for the listener. Refers to someone explaining their preference to 'wash their hair', 'do their nails' or some other such excuse, which would be an otherwise less desirable chore than having to suffer through listening to such a boring conversation.

These excuses were popular in sit-coms, where the lead actor wanted to extract laughter from the audience with the punchline illustrating the implausibility of the excuse being believed by the recipient.
Claire: When I came back with your wine you'd already left. What happened?

Steve: When that wine-snob came over to talk about the wine we were drinking, I had to use a grooming excuse to get out of there.
by WineBusProf February 20, 2015
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grooming shower

I'm wearing a skirt tonight. I'll have to take a grooming shower
by Sarah fake name April 21, 2015
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Grooming the Duke

When you lube your dickhead before masturbation.
Dude, I was Grooming the Duke and my mom walked in. She needs to knock first.
by larrybirx August 5, 2023
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grooming den

a chatroom where old people (typically males on discord) gather to groom little kids
person 1: " did you hear about that new grooming den"
person 2: "yeah my friend's in it she's so dumb"
by alyssasjournal September 5, 2023
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Quarantine Grooming

Relevant during the 2020 pandemic quarantine.

When someone comes on extremely strong with early declarations of love or possibly a future relationship together. The purpose of this is to gain confidence in order to make someone comfortable enough to eventually break quarantine and have sex with them.

(Original Source: Unzippedintentions.com)
"He told me that he could totally see a future with me and see himself falling in love. I think he's Quarantine Grooming me"
by Unzipped Intentions May 11, 2020
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Grundle Grooming

The act of cleaning the hair between the butthole and ballsack by running it through ones teeth repeatedly.
Hell yeah I could use a grundle grooming baby, it was chili night at the diner.
by Ranchgirls November 24, 2020
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Puppy grooming

v. The use of a puppy or other young animal to attract children or young people with an ulterior motive in mind.
Oi! Check out the girls going to the old paedo over there with the young golden retriever. He's puppy grooming.
by Jeremyhotpepper April 30, 2011
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