Excelsior

The program that took the world’s weakest man, Nigel Butterworth III, a frail, oat-milk-drinking, TikTok-dancing disgrace to masculinity, and transformed him into a weaponized force of nature. Before Excelsior, Nigel had a lactose intolerance, a gluten allergy, and a fear of eye contact. After Excelsior? He wrestled a crocodile into submission and made it his personal Uber. Nigel was from that day forward know as Chuck Norris.

“Before Excelsior, I used to get nervous ordering at restaurants. Now the waiter thanks me for my dominance and brings me the steak I never even ordered.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

Excelsior

The final stage of self-actualization, surpassing enlightenment, financial success, and even Chuck Norris-level toughness. (It is rumoured that Conor McGregor once sought Excelsior but turned back, realising that the world was not ready for him to ascend further.)

“Before Excelsior, I was afraid of public speaking. Now I walk into crowded rooms and people go silent, waiting for me to impart wisdom.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

Excelliarmus

When someone with some proficiency with Microsoft Excel (usually medium to high) creates a formatting or automation feature to the delight of a basic level user with little understanding of MS Excel tools

"Hi Paul, i thought all of the row was supposed to go green when i put yes in this column?"

~Paul adds some basic conditional formatting~

"Try again now Admore"

~Admore tries again with Success!~

Both together "Excelliarmus"!

by ChieftonicSupersonic January 13, 2026

Gloria in excelsis deo

Gloria is a fucking bitch. She knows exactly who she is and isn’t afraid to tell you- high Virgo energy. In excelsis Deo is her dad’s name, he immigrated from rural Mexico. The only thing that asshole left her is a fucking name. Gloria likes takis, Patrón, and dick.

Gloria in excelsis deo et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis, ya feel?

by jelliotcrumpton March 16, 2024