Calendar Lockout

When you forget to buy a calendar in the beginning of the year, you realize it months later, and you are too poor, dumb or lazy to buy a new one.

Oh shit it's may, and I didn't buy a calendar, no way Im spending that money now. This is bullshit.

I guess you had a calendar lockout this year

by Swagglord August 11, 2012

calendar dressers

People who only dress according to the calendar not the actual weather.

There are loads of calendar dressers among cyclists - what do they wear when it gets really cold?

by viennabeo November 12, 2013

Calendar Mood

In the mood to be productive, whilst sitting in a chair doing nothing

I'm really in a calendar mood right now!

by Schnorppe October 1, 2023

calendar girl

a girl or person who takes pictures for every month and uses it in a calendar.

I would be your calendar girl.

by anonymous December 31, 2024

Calendar gouge

When an Airbnb host refuses to accept a booking request unless you extend it to fill a gap in their calendar

I tried to go on holiday, and I thought I found the perfect place until I tried to book it and the host turned around and tried to calendar gouge me.

by Airbnb hosts ruining airbnb May 14, 2025

The Calendar Option

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

by Darren Besert January 21, 2016

NNN Calendar

The NNN Calendar is a calendar revolving around NNN.

-Jizz January
-No Finger February
-Massive Masturbate March
-Ass Eating April
-Gay May
-Make It Jelly June
-Even More Jizz July
-Mass Ass August
-Semen Shooter September
-Orgi October
-No Nut November
-Destroy Dick December

"Are you attempting the NNN Calendar"

"Heck Yeah, my dick is going to suffer so much"

by SpikeyFluffBall November 7, 2019