Calculator

My brain, my every ounce of being human

Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?

Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?

Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.

Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator

Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT

by Who The Douce Are You? April 12, 2005

Calcium Anthropology

The study of Milk Men. Originally revealed in the comedy of Steven Wright.

The leading scientists in Calcium Anthropology concluded that the extinction of the indigenous Milk Men was due to their increasing futileness over the years.

by ramsgoldberg61 February 8, 2010

calculator monkey

Stereotypically, any Asian that is amazing at any math and/or math concepts and that can compute all of these concepts without the use of the calculator. These are typically the Asians that succeed in any classes having to do with math or science with little to no work being done as it just comes naturally to them based on their genetics in these subjects. Also, you use them to help you receive good grades in classes and help them by making friends they wouldn't normally have.

Person 1: "Hey man, did you get the answer to #5, the algebraic equation?"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"

by Paceyourself February 7, 2014

Cacophonous

A loud, harsh, or discordant mixture of noise.

Additionally, Matthew Mercer's favorite descriptor for a loud noise, specifically when on Critical Role.

Percy let's out a shot with bad news and with a cacophonous boom it echoes through the mines of Kraghammer.

by Azraeladonis August 20, 2017

CALCIUM TOKEN

The Calcium token should not exist. Its uprising is one that came from greed and stolen from the elite. On September 21st a contract was launched on the ERC20 chain by the Shiba Inu team. This token was supposedly a dummy token to be used for other functions in the Shiba ecosystem. Someone on the team approved trading and paired 420,690,000 .0001 ETHER into the LP. Fortunately the contract contained trade functions that were meant to be removed and a bot sniped the supply! He then added LP to the tokens he sniped to create a new pair creating what is now a Robinhood type story. Though this sniper made a small fortune after pulling the LP the CAL community gathered, one by one adding LP making CAL 100% decentralized and community owned . With the backing of thousands a new era of meme cryptocurrency was born. Without a dev, without taxes, without anyone that can pull the rug CAL is bringing back the vibes that built the cryptoworld.

CALCIUM TOKEN is the future of meme coin decentralization.

by shotocal September 29, 2023

Young Calculator

The highest status that a human can earn. A young calculator is highly respected anywhere they go.

That khed is an absolute young calculator

by HitYourShots April 18, 2018

I need a calculator

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.

Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"

by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009