A test from god

When you shit so hard it leaves you exhausted

" i just got a test from god ... I guess i passed"

by BuBaHasShat June 17, 2022

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God

And God is a guy taking credit for something he didn't do...

Some guy "Hey man, you ever wonder who made everything?"

Some other guy "Uuuum-I did that... Yep... I did that waaaaaaaay back in the day. Before you were even a guy."

The first guy "Awshitnoway for real!?"

God "Yeah dawg... Yup... It was me."

Dawg "No fuckin way bro that is sick! That must have taken a long time."

God "Nah Dawg, that shit only took 7 days. Nah, 6 days. I took a nap the 7th day."

Dawg "Damn bro... That's nuts."

God "Right? Yeah, so I'm going to need you to burn down Sodom and Gomorrah."

Dawg "What?"

God "Yeah, I'm not about any of that shit. Go. Grab another guy. Go get Abraham and tell him we're going to burn down the city."

Dawg "Aw well shit man... I guess I'd better do that then..."

God "Yeah I will burn your soul forever if you don't!"

Dawg "Oho! Man, ouch! Doesn't sound fun. Alright... I'll tell Michael about the you making everything in 7 days shit though. You're a dope guy man. Thanks for all the stuff."

God "Yeah, we'll kill the canaanites next. Oh, and this is my son Jesus and he's better than everyone forever."

Dawg "Aw cool, bye Jesus!" *Walks away*

by Hym Iam June 19, 2023

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I RELY ON GOD!

I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD! I RELY ON GOD!

Hym "Is that ACTUALLY what he said? 'I RELY ON GOD!'? Because IF NOT... You had 8 years to stop that Megyn. Who are you protecting by doing this Meg? Who are they dying for? Not for your kids. It isn't protecting your kids. You're not doing it FOR your kids. At this point they are dying to get m eto KILL your kids. Really. What is the point of this? TO PRESERVE YOUR OWN SOLIPSISM! So you can walk past the homeless guy as though he wasn't even there. It doesn't matter that they died to you because once they are I the ground the are out of sight and out of mind. It doesn't matter to you if I stab someone's kid because as soon as I do, you can unleash your sadistic fantasies and then act like nothing happened. All you are trying to do is maintain the zoo animal/patron dynamic we have going on here and it is better for everyone if you stop."

by Hym Iam July 17, 2025

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199 ping god

Kikikatme, similar to the 200 ping god, imaqtkat, decimates decimates any competition despite his occasional high ping. He is the 199 ping god.

Kikikatme's penis is so large. He is indeed the 199 ping god.

by Moist Individual April 18, 2024

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God

Even if God owns the thing you are claiming he owns... YOU'RE NOT HIM! I don't see how YOU come into the picture. How do YOU come to possess a thing NEITHER of us own? And I doubt your God TOLD YOU TO STEAL FROM ME. Did God tell one of you you could have that? And if so, which one of you did he tell? I'm pretty sure GOD told you explicitly NOT to steal. I don't see how "God owning something" translates to "You get to use free of charge something that neither you nor God contributed to producing." That being my input. I had to burn up years and calories of my limited existence to do that and THAT VERY LIMITATION is the FAULT of God. It isn't my fault that I had to expend both time and capital, resources that I cannot reclaim naturally, and, therefore, need to reclaim them monetarily.

Hym "How does God owning something translate to YOU using it for free? You're not God. I don't think God told you that you could use his shit without paying the guy he created to generate that shit. You're spitting in the face of God's creation and then taking something you ADMIT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU because in you mind it DOESN'T theoretically belong to me. So if God means I don't own it then GOD means YOU don't own it either. And that has nothing to do with whether or not your have to pay me. That is Christians and Jews being petty fucking swindlers. All of them. 100Per-fucking-cent!"

by Hym Iam October 13, 2025

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