Shitty Wank

When a person is having a wank and their crotch and hands are all covered in their own shit.
"I was having a really good wank last night, and then I shit the bed. I thought about stopping but I just carried on and had a shitty wank instead"
by topcatistop May 25, 2009
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strategic wank

Masturbation carried out a period of time before intercourse to allow the participant to last longer before ejaculation.
by Ian S July 18, 2005
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Pile of wank

Term used to describe a shit object, person, experience, place or feeling.
1. (when tired perhaps) damn i feeling like such a pile of wank
2. Dont trust claire she's a pile of wank
3. This film is a pile of wank
by Imak Hunt October 15, 2007
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Tit-Wank

Normally referred to a very pleasurable sexual act performed by women on men. It involves the male sticking his throbbing red head between a womans cleavage.

1) Wow Claire has really big boobs i would love to shove my todger between those lush tits and tit-wank until i shoot my warm jizz in her face and on her boobs while she screams for more.

2) Tom was giving it to Sally in the garden and Sally responded by giving Tom a lovely tit-wank, the pervert next door name John was caught masturbationg over the lovely deranged couple.

3) My boyfriend pleaded me to tit-wank him so i grappled his cock and thrusted it between my juicy melons, he cummed and i lapped it up of my round tits.
by Flash Bandicoot May 13, 2008
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Panic Wank

Having a wank in a moment of anxiousness, fear or when your just plain shitting yourself about something. Its like a phsyical way of letting out your fear in one quick, easy step.
Dave: "I think they know about the body in your freezer Scott"
Scott: "Ahh!!"
Richard: "Scott'll be off to have a panic wank now. Haha"
Everyone: "hahahaha!"
by Clairence (Drummond) November 11, 2007
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Wank Bullet

When you have watched porn on someones computer without their permission and they find out. Your friend takes the blame and says they have a wanking problem.
John: Fred I lent you my computer the over day and found a video of a gay gang bang.

Fred: It wasn't me.

Clive: It was my fault fred popped out for a coffee and I was watching it. I have a wanking disorder and I knock one out 12 times a day.

(John leaves)

Clive: I just took a wank bullet for you.
by jimmy0121 October 06, 2009
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Monkey Wank

Pleasuring oneself with the feet, whilst swinging in a tyre.
I'm off home for a banana, a few nuts and a monkey wank.
by Borthers February 20, 2007
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