Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.

"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."

by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022

Flip the table

It’s 6pm on a Saturday. Your mans is late to pick you up for the date that you are finally going on after a year and a half in the “talking” stage. You look out the window pondering life. You realize that he has arrived. As you are driving to the bar for your date Chad tells you that he thinks he may be interested in seeing Nicole after you two are done seeing one another. You’re mad…so mad. So you yell at the driver to pull it over. You get out of the car but you get back in. You and the driver get together then and there. You get married to the driver who is secretly Jeff Bezos.

Chad ends up in jail for laundering money. That is called flipping the table.

Trina totally is going to flip the table on Josh when she gets the promotion.

by reallyrealdefinitiongenerator November 27, 2021

table trash

Sluts found at pool halls. Asks you to teach her to play pool so you can bend her over the table. Constantly strokes the pool stick mimicking a bad handjob.

The pool table is surrounded by table trash.

by Hafnerd August 16, 2019

table for hov

Table for hov; When you dine alone & book a restaurant for your lonely self as your friends are non- exsistant or your group can’t decide on take away always that one friend that wants to eat at that same crusty spot, get your self a table for hov then.

Caller; Hi can I get a table for hov please?

Restaurant; You again? Of course you can you lonely fuck, mates bailed out on you again?

by LGS RAVES November 23, 2022

Table Lice

The young, usually white, girls who hang out next to the rope in a nightclub's VIP section waiting to be summoned to the table of a gentleman with bottle service. Usually identified by their H&M knock-offs of Herve Leger bandage dresses, these girls are quick to drink your liquor and leave when you run out of vodka. Their retreat is usually marked by loss of cell phone, tears, and walking away barefoot holding Steve Madden heels in their hands. The normal migration home includes vomiting in the back of an Uber or catching the very last train to Suffolk/Nassau/Westchester County or New Jersey.

John: Man, I'm glad we got a table tonight.
Greg: Yeah me too, the table lice are actually pretty strong here. Let's grab that group of three on the edge of the rope over there.

by The_Dabbler April 22, 2016

Table Party

A table party involves the use of a glass table, and a minimum of two people. One person lays under the glass table, while the other person takes a shit on the glass. Table parties are one of the few shit party games, as several people can participate at once.

I ran out of glass cleaner while cleaning up after last night's table party.

by sqitso March 31, 2008

table surf

The table surf is the act of looking for another table that is better than the one you are either sitting at or planning to sit at.

Me: Matt, don't table surf, just sit the fuck down.
Matt: Fine, whatever.

by Andrew space October 7, 2006