New Jersey

i'm from jersey, have been all my life.

i'm gonna spend a lot of time writing this entry. i'll give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

first.. new jersey people are conceited. it's true. we hate everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great new jersey is. then we tell people to "shut the fuck up" when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south .. and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it's not my fault.. it's cause i'm from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. obviously, they said jersey.

why are new jersey people self centered? becasue we have reason to be. first of all, some of the most famous people have come from our state. just to name A FEW.. tom cruise, frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito .. and the list goes on. not only do we have famous people.. we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.

not only are we smart and famous.. we're rich. bergen, somerset, morris, and hunderton counties rank as in the counties top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark and camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.

and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like ASS. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that's like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that's it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey's cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.

new jersey is ideal. i live 20 mintues away from new york city and an hour away from the famous jersey shore, (the shore is amazing. you think your beach is better? fuck you. why do you think mtv's true life had an episode titled "i'm a jersey shore girl." because it's the best fucking shore in the country.), and two hours away from philidephia. and it's a 4 hour drive to washington dc. and 15 mintues to the nearest mall -- 20 minutes to the next, and a half hour to the next. i just counted .. 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.

yeah, we have accents. who gives a shit? everyone has an accent. and no, we don't say "joisey." we do say "cawfee and tawk." but i can tell you it's a hell of a better accent than you bitches from the south.

and we can't drive? no. you can't drive. like i said before, i was just in the south. the speed limit sign read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that's why you people can't drive. who has a mininum speed limit? new jersey drivers like pissing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do.. just letting you know .. if we see out of state license plates, we'll tailgate your ass. probably because you're doing the speed limit and we want to go 20 over. then, we'll cut you off.. and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you're gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn't bother us. that's what we want.

we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone's from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says "i'm better than you."

music scene? amazing. bloomfiled ave cafe .. starlight ballroom .. enough said. we have the best local bands, the best punk scene, and probably 97 percent of the country's emo kids. don't believe me? read "nothing feels good. punk rock, teenagers, and emo." count how many jersey references are in that book. and the rap scene? i don't know much about it .. but i know it's there. and i know it's good.

and obviosuly the club scene. you don't know techno music until you come into new jersey.. SERIOUSLY. "we don't pump our gas .. we pump our fists." just shut the fuck up until you go to seaside boardwalk. you'll probably see some of the trashiest, dirtiest, skankiest girls.. and some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have have too much sex .. but they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true .. if you go to seaside. that's pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful girls that speak their mind. and the guys outside of seaside are pretty decent too.

majority of jersey people are italian.. or wish they were .. and drink too much beer and smoke too much pot. but, we all love eachother. i was at a party the other day and i met these guys that were best friends .. a scene kid, an abercrombie wearing kid, and a ghetto kid. why? because we don't give a fuck about labels. we throw the sickest parties .. in the woods.

what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they're better than you. so shut the fuck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on .. i dare you.

hungry? don't worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay? shut up.

and oh yeah, we say "yo." often. and "fuck." i don't complain that you say "y'all" so don't complain that i say "yo."

to sum up new jersey. yeah, most of the stereotypes are true, probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful. and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you bitches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking shit? we deserve to be our own country cause we're that cool.

southerner visiting new jersey: "whoa, this state moves too fast for me."
jerseyian: "yo, fuck you, go grow some corn."

new yorker visiting new jersey: "i can't believe you guys think you're beter than us."
jerseyian: :: punches new yorker in the face ::

pennsylvanian visiting new jersey" "haha, you guys smell."
jerseyian: "fuck you, you're a hick."

by your motherr July 9, 2006

New Zealand Whoopie Cushion

When a woman is having sex with three men at the same time and all holes are being occupied, and a fourth man would like in on the action. Since all holes are occupied, the man sits on the woman's stomache like a whoopie cushion and pops out all three penises, thus getting the woman to himself and ultimately excuting the New Zealand Whoopie Cushion.

I walk in my house to find my girlfriend having sex with three men, but instead of fetching a steak knife, I use my common sense and simply sit on my girlfriend's stomache, ejecting all three penises and getting my girlfriend back. The three men are then so amazed by my execution of the New Zealand Whoopie Cushion that they applaud me and leave.

by Flynny500 June 2, 2011

New Girl

The most recent Girl to move to your school. The real name is learnt usually within a week.

Danny: I saw this girl down the hall, she was hot, but I haven't seen her before.
Peter: Oh yeah, the new girl?

by Hailey Hogsworth September 12, 2005

new money

The first definition says "The opposite of Paris Hilton"
I would like to correct that. Paris Hilton is new money, as her father made a big amount of money in little time. Her father. She is by no means old money.

A perfect example of an old money family is the Vanderbilt family.

New money is characterised by SUVs, Dolce & Gabanna, Juicy Couture...
New money individuals are looked down upon by old money individuals. However, the biggest snobs are new money as they haven't received a proper education and don't have manners, so they become unbearable people.

Jenny (new money): Oh my god, look at that girl, what is she wearing! Someone get her a trash can, hahahah. Where is my Gucci?

Selena (old money) (thinking): What an attitude.

by fromnh June 2, 2010

New Labour

Ruling political party of UK. Policies include rising crime, taxation (see gordon brown, hate of motoring, mass immigration. Espacially harmful to education. See tony blair.

New labour are getting kicked out in the next election.

by oracle February 5, 2004

new jersey

I recently moved to NJ from Connecticut. I came here knowing and pretty much believing all of the negative stereotypes about NJ (like "NJ - the armpit of America" -- one of my personal favorites). But I had NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN THERE. Alot of others on this site have done an excellent job of debunking the myths about NJ & its people, so I'll just add this: I'm a million times happier in this state than I ever was or could be in CT and so is just about everybody I know. Nuff said? I'm so glad I'm no longer the superficial, mean, bigoted, insecure tight ass that I was in CT.

The Garden State (NJ nickname)
"NJ - Keeping It Real" (unofficial motto)
Join the Human Race -- move to New Jersey (my advice)
A bit-o-history: Some statesman in the 1700s compared NJ to an immense barrel, filled with good things to eat and open at both ends, with Pennsylvanians grabbing from one end and the New Yorkers from the other. Perhaps PA & NY have drained the periphery areas of NJ so much that they are now the blight that gives NJ such a bad rap. Just a thought.

by BVM June 5, 2005

New Germany, Nova Scotia

How true are these???

For those who grew up in New Germany, there you, and recognize the
following:

1) what "dasn't" means
2) that "coppers" aren't police but a form of money
3) that "hooters" aren't on a woman, but something you smoke to get high
4) you took your father's work truck to school, complete with diesel,
powersaw, or chains on back
5) the community pool is on the lake
6) Garney
7) that the only Tim Horton's coffee available is Irving coffee
8) the line up at the liquor store at 10am is only equal to the banking line
on cheque day
9) where a traffic jam means a tractor trailer is parked in the road
10) that squirelling means spinning your tires ... bonus points if it's in
the school parking lot
11) leaving school to go to one of three greasy eateries means summer's in
the air
12) you know what a Kirk's jerk is
13) the Station yard
14) you call a volunteer firefighter to find out where the fire is
15) you go to Bridgewater and *they* make fun of your Lunenburg County
accent
16) you know that the video store was actually a drug store
17) you stayed at "The Welfare Hotel"
18) you were conceived at the Canada Day garden party
19) you've gone tubing down the river
20) you buy vegetables or fish out of the back of a truck
21) you let your wife get a hunting license so you can bag two deer
22) your car has been hit by deer a minimum of two times
23) there's a CB in your truck
24) you read the "Court Report" to make sure they didn't spell your name
wrong
25) the only place to drink is the Legion
26) you met your better half at a Legion dance
27) the railroad tracks are in better condition than the main road
28) you remember when Eggie's was owned by Eggie
29) you've ever had to wash manure off your car
30) you've had people think you're from Europe (Germany?)
31) you and your family either work at: Michelin, Bowater (and calls it
Bowaters), in the woods or shearing Christmas trees
32) on the weekend, you rush to read the flyers and are upset that they've
already been "read"
33) you partied more in camps than in bars
34) when someone asks if you own a car, you tell them you have a
four-wheeler
35)you have at least one childhood photo of yourself holding either a
trout or an (empty?) beer bottle, bonus points if it's both
36) you've ever been called "dutchy"
37) ending a sentence with with is perfectly accepted English
38) your family tree overlaps more than once
39) you remember the pizza restaurant
40) you know people who say "farther" instead of "father"
41) someone in your family has had the shine
42) your next door neighbour sold beer
43) your next door neighbour sold hooters
44) you remember when New Germany had a train
45) you make fun of people from the outskirts of New Germany (Hemford, North River)
46) you know that smeltz potatoes aren't made from fish
47) on holidays, you argue about what kind of dressing (black or brown) to
have
48) you've ever filled in a pothole with gravel, sawdust, or other fill
49) you go into a gas station and ask for "unleaded"
50) goin' to town means cruising around the TOB
51) you recognize at least two people in the community notes section of the
Bulletin
52) you've ever read the telephone book to see who has placed an ad in the
classifieds
53) you don't go to get your hair cut -- you go for the gossip
54)your truck follows one of the following designs a) multicoloured b)
welded or fixed with sheet metal and pot rivets c) jacked up d) has a
wooden box instead of a metal one e) is painted with Tremclad
55) instead of being affiliated with a political party, people know you come
from either GM, Ford, or Dodge families
56) you organize your week around Bingo
57) you've spent at least three years trying to get your Grade 12
58) if, instead of going to a dance that turns into a fight, you go to a
fight
that turns into a dance
59) think that plaid or doeskin is appropriate clothing for shopping or
family reunions
60) you spend time at the local garage, just "hanging" out
61) you give directions that involve signposts like "hang a left by the old
Zwicker place"
62)you call a house "the old Zwicker place" or "the green house" even
though it's owned by "people from the city" and is now painted blue
63) you know the meaning behind "Spring Breakup"
64) family stories revolve around mythical muscle cars
65) anyone has ever laughed when you've enunciated your telephone number ...644
66) you get TFC.
67) you know everyone you graduated with, and half are related to you.
68) you have relatives who are related to you twice.
69) when anyone ever asks if you've been on vacation, you tell them you've
been camping.
70) your car has 60/4 air conditioning: four windows rolled down and you got
to drive 60 miles an hour.
71) when you go to a tree lot for your Christmas tree, you literally go to a
tree lot and cut your own.
72) you hate store-bought jam and pickles because you're accustomed to
homemade
73) you've ever used one of the following verbs: boaring, squirreling,
rutsching, gutzing
74) you got into a car for the first time and wondered why it didn't have a
rabbit and a turtle on the gear shift
75) you're jealous of the Springfield kids because they have
more snowdays than you
76) you've ever partied in a hall where there's no running water, just an
outhouse
77) you remember when New Germany could support two grocery stores AND a
general store
78) going to the drive-in was a great night out, except for those damn
mosquitoes
79) you know three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup
80) you've never gambled at a casino, but you HAVE played all the games of
chance at the local garden parties
81) most of your meals are made up of meat, potatoes and sauerkraut, except
for Saturday night, which is beans night
82) you know the difference between chicken and pig manure with just one
whiff
83) you've listened to Swap Shop either to buy something or make fun of the
people selling stuff
84) you go to all weddings and funerals for the sandwiches
85) you refer to people by a nickname like The Cube or Sonic the Hedgehog
86) you get your library books from the Book Mobile
87) you've ever driven a K-car, Crapolier, or the 'Vette
88) you've taken a dip in the river
89) you've outrun the police on a dirtbike or four-wheeler
90) remember when going to Wal-Mart was a great excursion to the city or the valley
91) you and your parents had the same teacher in school
92) most of your clothing has come from the "boutique" or the Daisy
93) your neighbours know more about your personal life than you do
94) it's a tradition to go skating on a pond at night, which is lit up by
burning tires
95) you go around to the piles of trash just before spring or fall clean up
to decorate your living room
96) rising oil prices don't concern you because you heat your house with
wood that you've split and stacked yourself
97) you've ever shot a squirrel, porcupine, or skunk
98) you've ever been to an ox-pull
99) your car stereo and rims are worth more than your car
100) on April 1 you become a fishing widow instead of a sports widow
101) you were a "heathen" because you played cards on Sunday
102) you stole staplers, paper, and dictionaries from school for no
particular reason
103) you either mow a field with your lawn mower, or mow your lawn with a
tractor
104) you've earned a bit of money either picking strawberries, blueberries,
or haying
105) you stole peas or beans from your neighbour's garden, then ate them raw
106) you know all the words to "All the gold in Caledonia"
107) you're an entrepreneur because you operate a yard sale every Saturday
and Sunday throughout the summer
108) all your bedding was made by either your mother or grandmother
109) you rented a church hall or the Legion for your wedding reception
110) have more than one satellite dish on your roof

you know you're from New Germany, Nova Scotia when the hicks AND the gangsters wear doe skins!

You know your from New Germany,Nova Scotia when going to school is like going to a family reunion

by cbbabygirl08 February 21, 2009