Governmenting

Trying to help in the most unhelpful way possible.

My family keeps governmenting me by cleaning my house but putting everything in the wrong spot.

by UPSgod January 15, 2022

government flu

Another name for COVID-19, popular among Republicans

"Mom tested positive for the government flu yesterday."

by deSuperNoodle March 2, 2022

Is the government spying on schizophrenics enough?

A skit from 17 YEARS AGO on The Onion about exactly what is happening here.

Hym "Is the government spying on schizophrenics enough? It's entirely manufactured illness so... Yes? They are like Nurse Rachet or Mother Teresa. Creating the illness so that they can use a cure that they know will not be effective for anything other than restricting the rights of the populous, selectively and arbitrarily, or instrumentally as a way to silence dissidents. Which has already happened in other countries. Like China."

by Hym Iam September 9, 2025

Government

A bunch of lizard people who want for me to not kill people

A: Who are you voting into office?
B:*Gasp* You believe in the government?

by HelpImHeldCaptiveByACrazyMan September 18, 2021

Government

Hey, you want to do whatever I tell you to do forever? No? Come one it'll be cool. It'll be like I'm some kind of warped, twisted, unfeeling deity.

Iam "Maybe it's not good for the reason what's his face says it's good. Maybe it's a 'good' thing because it exposes the government lie. Like, if most of the polls say that most of the people are self-censoring then maybe he's one of them."

Hym "As long as we're not thrown in a cage I don't care."

by Hym Iam May 1, 2022

Wasting Government Resources

1. You don't give a fuck about government resources
2. This is a legitimate violation of my rights and is wrong for the same reason that red flag laws are unconstitutional and that surveillance states are wrong (For the cuckservatives) and for the reasons that your micro-aggressions and your misgendering is wrong.

Hym "Wasting government resources would be dumping them into a human trash-can instead of the literal creator of A.I. But you don't even think I should have rights! You want you to have the rights and then you want to lord over everyone like the greedy, filthy shit-lib you are. Dumb and bad! Bad and dumb!"

by Hym Iam May 30, 2024

Government Issued Jetski

A bureaucratic prostitute. Most often visited whilst on vacation at your mother in-law’s house.

I’ve really got to get away from this woman and spend some time doing a bunch of paper work before coitus with this government issued jetski. Jay is gay.

by Voxicles May 23, 2023