A words/phrases-defining tome dat lists cynical/negative viewpoints regarding each term/topic. Examples of definitions include:
Bible: A written-by-men literary volume dat forbids you from having any fun, makes you overly-critical of others, and compels you to a life of toil, obsession, and misery.
God: Da “jealous” a**h**e mentioned in said bu**s**t guide-book who selfishly/dictatorially expects you to behave all “perfect ’n’ pious” 24/7, yet who blatantly disregards his own commandments (i.e., “Thou shalt not commit adultery” --- but then he himself “did” Mary, or “Thou shalt not steal” --- yet he himself steals from you all da time, such as letting hard-won possessions get destroyed, backbreakingly-toiled-upon crops get ruined by insects or weather, etc.) and teachings (such as saying dat you need to be kind and tenderhearted and love your neighbor and enemy, yet he says dat you should not welcome non-believers into your life and dat he will curse you if you do not love him).
Going to church: A weekly “legalized torture” session dat shoves da aforementioned bu**s**t down vulnerable/exhausted little ones’ throats when they would rather be sleeping from da exhaustion of five days of school and/or playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine.
Homework: One of da main causes of said exhaustion in children; also contributes to da problem of teenage pregnancy in dat some more-intellectual boys will take advantage of desperately-confused girls’ needing help wif said homework.
Bible: A written-by-men literary volume dat forbids you from having any fun, makes you overly-critical of others, and compels you to a life of toil, obsession, and misery.
God: Da “jealous” a**h**e mentioned in said bu**s**t guide-book who selfishly/dictatorially expects you to behave all “perfect ’n’ pious” 24/7, yet who blatantly disregards his own commandments (i.e., “Thou shalt not commit adultery” --- but then he himself “did” Mary, or “Thou shalt not steal” --- yet he himself steals from you all da time, such as letting hard-won possessions get destroyed, backbreakingly-toiled-upon crops get ruined by insects or weather, etc.) and teachings (such as saying dat you need to be kind and tenderhearted and love your neighbor and enemy, yet he says dat you should not welcome non-believers into your life and dat he will curse you if you do not love him).
Going to church: A weekly “legalized torture” session dat shoves da aforementioned bu**s**t down vulnerable/exhausted little ones’ throats when they would rather be sleeping from da exhaustion of five days of school and/or playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine.
Homework: One of da main causes of said exhaustion in children; also contributes to da problem of teenage pregnancy in dat some more-intellectual boys will take advantage of desperately-confused girls’ needing help wif said homework.
Additional "Murphy's Law" dictionary definitions include:
Kindergarten: Da first major betrayal of kiddie-innocence trust dat yer snooty “don’t talk to strangers” parents foist upon you, abandoning you and your “safe home” environment by shockingly making you ride alone on a noisy school bus full of obnoxious screaming “bigger kid” bullies, just in order to sit for interminable periods in a stuffy classroom wif a shallow-and-impatient teacher who both forces you to interact wif da other hyper-and-scary classmates and tries to make you learn stuff dat is way above your intellect-level and thus you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
Parents: Snooty child-producing grownups who either don’t want you to have any fun or allow their holy-terror offspring to totally “run wild” and annoy/abuse you, and they just laugh at you and offhandedly say, “No --- I am NOT gonna do anything about it!” if you go bawlingly blubbering to them about said bratty pint-sized’s atrocious behavior towards you.
“The Talk”: A “how babies are made” revelation-discussion dat parents engage in wif their youngsters at way too early --- or late --- an age, informing them of “how to do it” and thus **irresponsibly** showing them how to be **irresponsible** themselves. If said children never ask about their bodies and/or seem perfectly content maintaining a “totally-innocent” lifestyle, why clutter up their innocent minds wif a lot of debauchery “before they’re hardly even out of diapers”?!
Kindergarten: Da first major betrayal of kiddie-innocence trust dat yer snooty “don’t talk to strangers” parents foist upon you, abandoning you and your “safe home” environment by shockingly making you ride alone on a noisy school bus full of obnoxious screaming “bigger kid” bullies, just in order to sit for interminable periods in a stuffy classroom wif a shallow-and-impatient teacher who both forces you to interact wif da other hyper-and-scary classmates and tries to make you learn stuff dat is way above your intellect-level and thus you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
Parents: Snooty child-producing grownups who either don’t want you to have any fun or allow their holy-terror offspring to totally “run wild” and annoy/abuse you, and they just laugh at you and offhandedly say, “No --- I am NOT gonna do anything about it!” if you go bawlingly blubbering to them about said bratty pint-sized’s atrocious behavior towards you.
“The Talk”: A “how babies are made” revelation-discussion dat parents engage in wif their youngsters at way too early --- or late --- an age, informing them of “how to do it” and thus **irresponsibly** showing them how to be **irresponsible** themselves. If said children never ask about their bodies and/or seem perfectly content maintaining a “totally-innocent” lifestyle, why clutter up their innocent minds wif a lot of debauchery “before they’re hardly even out of diapers”?!
by QuacksO December 7, 2025
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by Anonymousway December 11, 2025
Get the the end of the urban dictionary mug.by Anonymousway December 11, 2025
Get the urban dictionary mug.A stinking pile of shit that started in 1999 as an actually good website. It's now used by 12 year olds to write about sex positions. The users have the power to turn the most innocent things sexual somehow.
by icantthinkofaname117 December 15, 2025
Get the Urban dictionary mug.In the dreadful jungle of Urban dictionary, a rare breed can be found. Today on National geographic, we will take a look at the Urban dictionary users. This is their natural, and only, habitat, where they can be found writing articles happily. They have a weird view on the world, seeing everything as a sexual reference. Only two breeds can be found: The dominant 'Pervertus teenagus' and the minority 'Normalus personus' moving on to their reproduction, the males try to attract the females using unheard-of words in their sentences like "I wanna put my pocket rocket into your cake until i release my tea flavours" but this type of attraction is only used by the Pervertus teenagus. Thanks for watching.
by icantthinkofaname117 December 17, 2025
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by A Pseuda What Now? December 21, 2025
Get the Urban Dictionary mug.A website that used to be fun, where people make stuff up and others vote(sometimes?). They won’t take action, likely flimsy excuse like “just don’t come here.”
When not used for defamation and/or generalized misplaced rage(insecurity) can be a source of confusion and mild hilarity.
Core problems:
- The “just don’t come here” stance avoids real moderation responsibility.
- No real vetting allows defamation and harassment to slip through as “jokes,” with voting as the only filter, favoring ragebait over accuracy or fun.
- Silence on reports fits the libertarian “user-generated = no liability” model, but it ignores how targeted malice can cross into illegal territory like libel.
Potential upsides:
- Captures niche lingo or absurd humor that formal dictionaries miss.
- The voting system sometimes buries trash, but it’s unreliable against brigading or grudge-posting.
Better alternatives:
- Platforms like this prioritize “freedom” over safety, turning mild hilarity into a vector for unchecked insecurity.
- The libertarian “no liability” shield lets targeted malice masquerade as humor, crossing into defamation without consequence.
Post your definition anyway-self aware users will upvote over noise. When they’re allowed to.. hey can we vote on stuff or not?
I vote urban dictionary sucks
Urban Dictionary’s “vote on it” facade crumbles when moderation ghosts reports and lets grudge entries fester.
Wiktionary’s too stuffy anyway for this vibe.
When not used for defamation and/or generalized misplaced rage(insecurity) can be a source of confusion and mild hilarity.
Core problems:
- The “just don’t come here” stance avoids real moderation responsibility.
- No real vetting allows defamation and harassment to slip through as “jokes,” with voting as the only filter, favoring ragebait over accuracy or fun.
- Silence on reports fits the libertarian “user-generated = no liability” model, but it ignores how targeted malice can cross into illegal territory like libel.
Potential upsides:
- Captures niche lingo or absurd humor that formal dictionaries miss.
- The voting system sometimes buries trash, but it’s unreliable against brigading or grudge-posting.
Better alternatives:
- Platforms like this prioritize “freedom” over safety, turning mild hilarity into a vector for unchecked insecurity.
- The libertarian “no liability” shield lets targeted malice masquerade as humor, crossing into defamation without consequence.
Post your definition anyway-self aware users will upvote over noise. When they’re allowed to.. hey can we vote on stuff or not?
I vote urban dictionary sucks
Urban Dictionary’s “vote on it” facade crumbles when moderation ghosts reports and lets grudge entries fester.
Wiktionary’s too stuffy anyway for this vibe.
Mr derp: hey have you seen this on urban dictionary?
General society: we’re on the clock, have you finished filling out your reports for this month yet?
General society: we’re on the clock, have you finished filling out your reports for this month yet?
by Buddyguy January 2, 2026
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