Golden Touch

A person who is very lucky and can fix most problems by mearly touching or slightly tweaking the object, for example, a master IT programmer who removes a trojan in only a few keystrokes would be claimed to have the golden touch.

"I can't believe you fixed that without hardly doing anything, you must have a hell of a Golden Touch!"

by Dazzamon April 20, 2006

Inappropriate touch tuesday

Inappropriate touch Tuesday is a term coined my comedian Daniel Tosh. It is a made up holiday that requires participants to go and inappropriately touch others. The others are most likely non-participants in this holiday. It should be noted that two people of the same sex inappropriately touching each other is not to be considered gay unless the two are unaware or non participants or the touch is extremely gay.

Chris walks by and brushes up against Carolin's butt
Carolin: WTF you pedo
Chris: but it's inappropriate touch tuesday!
Carolin: Oh, I cant believe I forgot!

by Brew Kellen May 17, 2011

Don't touch my junk

A stern warning to TSA gropers to not touch John Tyner's penis or balls when told he was about to undergo a "groin check".

Don't touch my junk. If you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested. -- John Tyner, San Diego Airport, November 13, 2010

by RealTailDragger November 22, 2010

Because you touch yourself at night

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.

Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

by Urban_Fellow June 24, 2006

tender touch

A tender touch is a loving, slow, gentle touch that makes your senses go wild, every little caressing movement driving you into ecstasy

"Upon her tender touch, in her arms, my knees can't help but weaken ♥"

by leetNightshade December 27, 2009

Touch Hole

A tool, a knob, a jerk-off. More than a dork, but not quite a douchebag.

"Tom, stop being such a touch hole, Bellingham is right near Rhode Island and you know it."

"I just spent the whole day with that guy at the football game and the goddamn touch hole wouldn't stop talking about how good the Kansas City Chiefs were for even a minute."

by Mitch Kramer July 26, 2005

tooche

A combination of a douche and a tool. If you were looking at a Venn diagram with one circle that represents tools and one circle that represents douches, these people would occupy that unfortunate intersection between the two.

The correct pronunciation rhymes with douche.

Danny Bonaduce is a tooche, and should be forever known hereafter as Danny Bonatooche.

by principe62 March 26, 2009