1. A cleansing wipe for a penis.
2. A female equivalent of a Douche bag, that is usually PMS'ing and in a real bitchy state.
2. A female equivalent of a Douche bag, that is usually PMS'ing and in a real bitchy state.
a. Eric: Damn! your mom threw my gameboy out the window because she said it was too loud!
John: Yeah... Shes being a real dick douche today...
b. Girl: Why does your junk smell like febreze?
Boy: I just used a dick douche!
John: Yeah... Shes being a real dick douche today...
b. Girl: Why does your junk smell like febreze?
Boy: I just used a dick douche!
by Wattx November 24, 2008
An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
by Butterknife April 06, 2009
a person that is really concieted and think that they are cool and full of them selves when people really make fun of them behind their back and can't stand the sight of them
by freddie07 November 09, 2009
Most prominent in the emo culture, the douche swoop has also appeared more recently in hipster populations across the globe. A douche swoop is defined by the most decidedly douchey swoop of bangs that typically covers roughly 35% of afflicted faces. It is typically marked by incessant fiddling with and/or brushing of the bangs from the face. In extreme cases, violent tics of the head to remove said hair from the facial region are observed. Do not be misled, these tics are not typically a result of Tourette syndrome; nay, they are merely the effect of a douchey haircut, and in most cases, are representative of a douchey individual.
"That emo kid is moving up. He kicked the douche swoop and now thinks he's the Fonz, cause he's rockin a pompadour."
"That's it; get me the scissors, post haste. I cannot possibly watch that kid play with his douche swoop any longer. I'm going to cut it off."
"That's it; get me the scissors, post haste. I cannot possibly watch that kid play with his douche swoop any longer. I'm going to cut it off."
by rhiannondale August 16, 2011
Douche Boy
Noun
A male who has the personality of a whet bag of slop.
Is often genederly challenged, controlling and arrogant.
Commonly involved with rumor and innuendo.
This person is likely your supervisor or Anthony Weiner.
Noun
A male who has the personality of a whet bag of slop.
Is often genederly challenged, controlling and arrogant.
Commonly involved with rumor and innuendo.
This person is likely your supervisor or Anthony Weiner.
by ST H October 16, 2011
Being super douche baggish all the time.
by Rude1iscool March 11, 2011
Someone whose pathetic work ethic is only matched by a complete lack of job skills.
There could be no more worthless an item in the universe than douche that's been used, so this should be reserved for those individuals who make one question the efficacy of evolution.
Can also be used in acronym form, SD.
There could be no more worthless an item in the universe than douche that's been used, so this should be reserved for those individuals who make one question the efficacy of evolution.
Can also be used in acronym form, SD.
"Dude, you didn't rack up the new server last week while I was on vacation!?"
"No, I couldn't find a cart so it's still in the mail room."
"DAMN... spent douche"
"No, I couldn't find a cart so it's still in the mail room."
"DAMN... spent douche"
by pabloxyz2003 July 06, 2009