phantom text message

You could swear you feel your phone vibrate against your thigh, but when you look there are no text messages.

You: (pulls phone out of pocket to check text)
Your wife: That better not be that little slut from your office texting you again!
You: It was a phantom text message, honest!

by fbar December 2, 2010

phantom fifes

a phenomena that usually occurs after one returns from a long weekend filled with fife and drum music, and though there aren't any fifes for miles, you can still hear them in your head. The same applies for drums.

After returning from the Deep River Ancient Muster, all I could hear were phantom fifes.

by hoorayforthefish July 2, 2011

Phantom Wanker

A person who masturbates in the room as soon as his roommate leaves, leaving behind no evidence of his deed unless the unfortunate roommate returns too quickly.

Guy 1: Does your room mate have a girlfriend?
Guy 2: No, but I think he's a phantom wanker

by HankyPanky4255 November 1, 2011

Pantorum

The frothy mixture of butter and excess batter that is often the by-product of cooking pancakes.

"I was making breakfast this morning and got pantorum all over my apron."

by Chubbs McScrotenstein September 9, 2012

Phantomberried

While taking a shit you feel the presence of an especially stubborn dingleberry. Unable to free the dingleberry you begin to wipe. The feeling of the dingleberry goes away but you are left with a clean sheet of toilet paper and no sign that the dingleberry ever existed

Joe-Do you remember last November when my IBS was flaring up and I kept getting phantomberried?
Tyler-How could I forget, you spent hours locked in the bathroom trying to solve the mystery.
Joe-It's happening again

by nohomofromcomo December 12, 2012

Phantom white spotted jackal

An illusive creature of the night whom is prone to suddenly disappearing (aka smoke bombing), releasing very limited and conflicting information about important events, and leading multiple parallel lives.

He went jackalling like the phantom white spotted jackal, or: the phantom white jackal has smoke bombed again.

by Fassbender December 21, 2013

Phantom Spoon Syndrome

(n.) The ability to feel sensations of your former significant other, cuddle buddy, partner, etc., spooning you while you're asleep at night.

"I'm not sure if someone creeped into my room last night or if I am experiencing phantom spoon syndrome."

by MCALLI March 8, 2014