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Romanian Porch Pirate

A young man with a long scraggly beard who joyfully steals packages from upstanding citizens and dresses in traditional homeless Romanian attire.
Jeff: “Hey man, have you seen Colby lately? He’s wearing 3 jackets and a big ass bogan and it’s 96 degrees outside”

Todd: “Yeah I seen him, he’s a total Romanian Porch Pirate
by Klansman1867 September 15, 2025
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Porch platypus

A platypus that lives on your porch.
Dam you have a Porch platypus that's cool
by anonymous November 29, 2025
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Porch Porn

noun

Also Porch-porn, Porchporn

1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge.

2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth.

3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.
“Bro, stop doomscrolling Porch Porn. You’re starting to think glitter counts as law enforcement.”
by APedant December 5, 2025
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Cock porch

Big gut over hanging someone's dick
Check out the cock porch on Wayne. He really let himself go.
by Jabroni272 January 6, 2026
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Porch swing angel

A chick who digs anal.
Margaret let me do her up the ass last night. She really loved it. She is a true porch swing angel.
by ImD-licious May 30, 2023
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Porch Mexican

An old Mexican dude that snorts cocaine off the front of his property
The old porch Mexican does cocaine off the railings, his porch
by Passdadrip June 5, 2023
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Porch Fishing

Noun:

The act of placing a fake package, or "bait box" on a porch or driveway to entice a "porch pirate", aka mail thief, into stealing it. It usually contains something unpleasant such as pet feces or dirty dirty socks. Some people on YouTube have gone more elaborate and built glitter flinging devices or packages connected to shot shell primers to scare the thief. And some just put something in the package to waste the thief's time.
"I used to have a bad case of porch pirates until my neighborhood started porch fishing. After that it cleared right up. Thanks porchfishing.org!"

"Going Porch Fishing? Don't forget to buy some shit at PorchFishing.org'
by @pdxTurdHunter March 23, 2023
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