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Columbia, South Carolina

The trashiest Capitol "city" (more like an expansive, trashy town) in the United States of America. Home to almost as many homeless drunks as streetlights, this "gem" of the "south" houses an ever-increasing number of ghetto, uneducated, section-8-milking morons. While the "city" does have a (very) few nice neighborhoods, the majority is crap. Most people seem to be more concerned with how their car looks or sounds than the fact that they serve chicken over a counter for a living while attempting to support their many, many offspring. The laziness of the people is demonstrated by the endless tax services willing to rip people off of their tax returns, because they're either too lazy or legitimately too slow to comprehend how to file their own taxes. Cashiers are unable to split $10 cash-back into smaller bills without precise direction because they simply cannot do that math. Columbia embodies the fact that South Carolina has the worst public school system in the country. Any "southern drawl" is just a lazy term for how unbelievably lazy the people are. Any sort of customer service will make you want to burn the company to the ground, and if you can understand half of the dialecting that the majority of the population adapts, you'll be lucky that you were able to get directions from someone to the person that can point you to the person that might know where the manager of the Walmart that you're standing in is, so that they can point you towards the item you're looking for.
Steve: Why don't any big events or tours stop in Columbia, South Carolina?
Brian: I don't think they want to be endlessly depressed by the people and the state of the city.

or

Steve: Oh no, I have to travel to Columbia, South Carolina for work.
Brian: Make sure you take your little brother's beat up car, and make sure you lock it. If you do both of those, there's a chance that someone actually won't break into the car and steal your seats.
by Feline Fister April 27, 2013
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columbine

where a couple of fuck-ups killed a bunch of people at school and caused a national outrage in which the senators started bitching about movies and music and videogames again. fuck the senators.
"i belive videogames are the source of these shootings"- bitch ass senator
by mr. happy April 12, 2004
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Columbine

The act of performing a massive school shooting (i.e. replicating what happened at Columbine High), although the location might not necessarily be a school but rather any establishment containing a large amount of people (i.e. a workplace).
Jimmy was arrested for saying that he was going to columbine his high school.
by djh712 July 7, 2010
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columbus guy

how many words can i use to describe a columbus guy...hot, sexy, funny, way better than nasty ass belen boys...and our lady of lourdes girls DONT deserve them, at all...get it right girls, they're the ones that are better than you, not the other way around. ok thanksss =)
by Columbus lover October 5, 2007
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columbus

see cowtown

Small city where the people think they are cool and are obsessed with Ohio State football eventhough most of them have nothing to do with the university - its pathetic.

Oh, and they all drive half the speed of the speed limit in their rusted out trucks adorned with NASCAR and Buckeyes stickers.
Columbus Hick: Columbus is the best place in the universe
Normal Person: Oh really? Why is that?
Columbus Hick: Cause we have the BUCKEYES
Normal Person: Oh, you went to Ohio State?
Columbus Hick: Naws
by Biffffffffff August 3, 2006
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columbus guy

1. guys that are such dumbasses and so poor that they have to go to a fake "prep school" 2. guys that swear that are ghetto and can survive anything, but they can't even survive public school 3. guys that a lourdes girl will never go out with
Don't ever date a columbus guy.
by lOurDeS giRl May 13, 2005
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columbian roulette

like russian roulette but EVERY chamber has a bullet
poor bastard, 'e didn' 'ave a chance. 'E woz playin' columbian roulette
by theWestHamfan January 3, 2004
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