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Cooked your own spleen

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"
by theclassgeek November 9, 2012
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cooking yams

Doing a lot of work, or moving fast.
Usian Bolt was cooking yams on that track.
by BarbCity October 17, 2013
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Related Words
cool Coopers cookie Coons Cookies cool beans cooked coolio cooter coochie

Cookies by the Pool

Cake by the ocean refers to sex... "Cookies by the pool" refers to masturbation... aka... "Fapping"
Tiana thought that little old man was so damned sexy... she couldn't help but have some cookies by the pool...
by Content Creator February 4, 2018
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Coon Gang

Coon gang is a racist group of trashy white boys in Lauderdale, MS. They believe that they are cool in their “gang” but really they embarrass themselves for publicity. The “gang” is quite lame and members have been known to shower together.
“Dude, did you hear about what the dumb Coon Gang did?”

“What did those idiots do this time?”
“They tried to make it out like their dumb gang is actually cool on Urban Dictionary!”
by Mason.daniels4 February 13, 2019
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Coomers Law

If you masturbate in an unlocked room, someone is bound to enter.
Person 1: I was masturbating in the office supply closet which no one EVER enters, but of course as soon as I started spanking it, my boss walked in.

Person 2: That's Coomers law. Shouldn't have challenged it.
by TheGodOfSpeechcraft December 6, 2019
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Coon lips

by Terrel the cheek clapper January 7, 2020
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Coomsumer

An individual who has an unhealthy addiction and/or sexual excitement for brands and it's products.

A person that lives to consume media and products and will fall in a blind hatred towards persons who don't share their consumer ideology.

They will often be found in flocks sorroundings specific brands and pieces of media.
"Oh yes! Disney is launching a Baby Yoda plushie. I want one! I want one! Oh god, in coomsuming".

"That guy is such a coomsumer, all he does is buy Funko Pops dolls and watch Marvel movies"
by HellToCoom January 29, 2020
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