The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.

Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!

by smellls November 6, 2011

Scout Law

A Scout is:

a. Trustworthy in the streets.
b. Courteous in the sheets.

Example of using the Scout Law:

Scout 1: "A scout is trustworthy in the streets..."

Scout 2: "And courteous in the sheets."

by Mercedes78 November 17, 2022

HyDka’s Law

A player of less intelligence/skill level Is always more likely to win.

Ex:
Player 1: I’m gonna fight this guy

Player 2: OMG WATCH OUT FOR HYDKA’S LAW

by HyDka’s Law February 7, 2021

Dice's Law

"Dice's Law", short for "Dice's Law of Annoying Team Fortress 2 Memes", is an internet adage asserting that every meme that exists will eventually have an unfunny Team Fortress 2 version of it created. When such a meme is made, it is immediately unfunny and generally annoying to anyone except Team Fortress 2 players.

"John made a video of the Spy from Team Fortress 2 dabbing, thus confirming Dice's Law."

by Hi honey, let's talk June 4, 2021

Illegal Law

An Illegal law is a law that that contradicts and or breaks the content/authority of a higher law, thus causing it to be illegal.

The NDAA is a new law that allows the detainment of Americans indefinitely. There is no warrant required for this detainment to take place and no speedy trial or hearing allowed. This law clearly breaks the 6th amendment in every way possible, thus causing it to be an illegal law since the Constitution is of higher authority and the Supreme Law of the Land.

by Benni Franklin June 18, 2013

Astolfo Law

Gay people are legally not allowed to find Astolfo attractive because he is a straight male.

It is also required to bust one to Astolfo as a right of passage to become a man.

“Hey man have you completed the Astolfo Law yet.”
“Not yet I’m still a child.”

by Real Nigga Billy March 29, 2020

martial law

not just some stupid movie.

The suspension of normal civil law and its replacement by strict military control.

Imposed during crises, emergencies or civil unrest.

Military rules ALL.

suspension of rights and freedoms

Iraq, maybe, after the June 30 pseduo handover.

by rise up rise against June 21, 2004