Rock Climbing

The sport of trying to find the easiest way to do the hardest thing possible. It involves getting really drunk on Mountain Dew, followed by shitting your pants so hard that you can hear the colour 94.

Greg: I like rock climbing!
Satan: I fear your power.

by professional_anus_tickler May 10, 2023

Plymouth Rock

The first shit you take after digesting Thanksgiving dinner. Usually very dense due to overeating, bordering on a blockage either due to size or consistency, (see: ‘mustard plug’) which prompts a gastrointestinal journey of epic proportions whilst trying to expel. The panic and fright felt during the initial urge to go is akin to the uncertainty the voyagers of the Mayflower must have felt before spotting land. Once the amalgamation of turkey, ham, stuffing etc begins to pass the event horizon of the anus, hope is restored, just like the settlers had when they finally reached the promised land.

“This year I’m thankful I made it to the bathroom on time to drop a plymouth rock.”

“Bob destroyed the toilet with his Plymouth Rock on black friday.”

“I Clogged the toilet at the hotel after Thanksgiving and just left it for the maids. They didn’t land on Plymouth Rock; my Plymouth Rock landed on them.”

by But Sects November 22, 2023

max rock

Max rock is a yakuza kid with no life

Have you seen that loser? Hes a max rock right!

by spring.li6 November 23, 2023

Spit heat rocks

A phrase made popular by the EDM artist: Bassnectar.

To spit heat rocks means to rap lyrics really well.

The term was derived well before the saying of “spitting bars” and after “spitting fire”.

“He spit heat rocks on the track.”

by DannyDay95 December 1, 2023

The Tumbling Rocks

The Rolling Stones, but for poor people.

Nick Wagger is the leader of the Tumbling Rocks.

by EasternEuropeanSlavLover December 4, 2023

Starved Rock Country

The name of general marketing strategy geared toward the disassociation of Private Businesses, Public Works, and Local events/areas of some historical importance from the more well known regional title “The Illinois Valley” or “The IV” to its aforementioned name. Stemming from its association in some objective proximity with Starved Rock State Park. Said strategy noted to be very unfavorable with locals, promoted mostly by ineffectual business owners and small town pseudo-celebrities on social media platforms.

“Hey I can’t find Starved Rock Country on map, are you sure that’s what it’s called?”

by Goobergobbler December 9, 2023

Don’t Rock the Jukebox

Don't rock the jukebox
I wanna hear some Jones
'Cause my heart ain't ready
For the Rolling Stones
I don't feel like rockin'
Since my baby's gone
So don't rock the jukebox
Play me a country song
Before you drop that quarter
Keep one thing in mind
You got a heart broke hillbilly
Standing here in line
I've been down and lonely
Ever since she left
Before you punch that number
Could I make one request?
Don't rock the jukebox
I wanna hear some Jones
'Cause my heart ain't ready
For the Rolling Stones
I don't feel like rockin'
Since my baby's gone
So don't rock the jukebox
Play me a country song
Now, I ain't got nothin'
Against rock and roll
But when your heart's been broken
You need a song that's slow
There ain't nothin' like a steel guitar
To drown a memory
Before you spend your money, baby
Play a song for me

And Don’t Rock the Jukebox
Wanna hear George Jones
'Cause my heart ain't ready
For the Rolling Stones
I don't feel like rockin'
Since my baby's gone
So don't rock the jukebox
Play me a country song
Yeah, don't rock the jukebox
Play me a country song

by Death Menace July 9, 2023