Ship Captain

The ship captain is the person in the fam or your friend group that keeps shipping everybody in the freakin' friend group regardless of whether or not they would make a good couple and also regardless of their sexuality. They are the captain of shipping people, thus known as the ship captain. If you have a ship captain in your fam or friend group then I feel bad for you son. Jk. Ship captains are also really good friends because of their determination, understanding, and total lack of selfishness. Ship captains are usually the leader or the glue of the friend group. If the ship captain feels that a ship is sinking, he or she will immediately abandon ship and get a new ship because they need a ship to commandeer. Ship captains always have a reason to explain how their ship would make a good couple. If you're targeted by a ship captain then good luck because they're like paparazzi and they won't stop following you and your shipmate everywhere and teasing you, thus bringing you closer together, which usually works after what I've seen from what the ship captain has done to my friends and their ships. You can have multiple ship captains in a friend group. But one way to identify the true captain is to check their phone and see if you can find pictures of his/her targets, either photoshopped or edited or real. Also, if they smirk proudly at the mention of one of their ships.

Caden: ugh I've been targeted
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL

by KkMoikK July 17, 2018

Captain Clam

When a chick shaves her pubic hair into an elegant little moustache.

I used to prefer bald until I met a woman with a Captain Clam.

by Mobscenity October 20, 2014

Captain's Propeller

A drink that was created by drunken teenagers from jersey at 1 a.m. It contains orange propel fitness water and about 3 shots of captain morgan. The combination of these fluids creates a smooth tasting liquid orgasm.

Guy 1: Dude what am I drinking?
Guy 2: The Captain's Propeller brosef!
Guy 1: WOW! This is like a liquid orgasm!

by Neil Durkin April 21, 2008

Captain Cumquick

A gentlemen who does not last long in bed and shoots his load too quickly

He's such a Captain Cumquick!

by OhNoessss April 28, 2012

Captain Batterage

To get hideously drunk.

Prior to leaving on a rit hunt, the boys obtained captain batterage.

by rattty March 15, 2007

Captain Monkey

The most followed Albanian geography account on TikTok.

TikToker that’s known for geography videos, memes, gags and more!

Man 1: Hey dude I just was one of Captain Monkey’s videos!

Man 2: I know me too! How does he make such good maps?

by AnonymousApe January 12, 2023

Captain Furious

A man whose enlarged medulla oblangata is often the source of his gargantuan rage. A comic-book anti-hero who most likely has the MCR1 gene.

That's classic Mike, going all Captain Furious just because X-Factor is on.

by IbrahimDaw October 26, 2009