weaponized incompetence

A term used by bad managers and by friends, family members, and romantic partners alike in circumstances where they want somebody else to do things their way but they do not want to properly communicate what their way is (or where they are happy to wax on about frivolous details but never justify why said details would actually matter to anyone else).

They will describe whoever is doing a sufficiently poor job reading their minds as incompetent, and if they suspect you are doing a poor job specifically so that they'll have to meet their own ineffable requirements (if you want something done "right", do it yourself) then they will call it "weaponized" incompetence.

In their minds the term means "feigning not being good at a task to get out of doing it" but in practice such a campaign could only ever work when there's only one person who has skin in the game for the task to be done in a certain way to begin with.
"Don't you even know how to make me a sandwich? The pickles have to go on top of the provolone, and the mustard and mayonaise should never touch. You didn't even cut off the crust, and who slices a sandwich lengthwise? It *must* be diagonal! Fine, I'll make my own damned sandwich, but I swear you do this on purpose just to avoid doing it the right way. It's weaponized incompetence! *huff*"
by Happ MacDonald April 09, 2024
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Ben the weapon

It says it all the in the title (and on the end of his 5ft nob). He's a weapon
Is that? NO WAY! that 40 year old is with Ben the weapon
by ManagerMan May 09, 2022
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Offensive Weapon

A large medieval style weapon, usually with an array of spikes, poison tips, skulls, and other heinous accessories. Usually only wielded by the most in human of men. The size of their kanckles and Arnold Schwarzenegger back muscles alone could be considered “offensive weapons.”
Lord Umbar the Merciless was last seen beating the entire towns people with his offensive weapon upon their face, chest, and neck areas. No one survived!
by LordSoth June 04, 2019
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MonStar Weapon

A person who is a fan of Lady Gaga, Jeffree Star, and Semi Precious Weapons. <3
I am a MonStar Weapon, and if Jeffree Star, Lady Gaga, and Semi Precious Weapons were all in one room with me, I think I would die of sheer excitement.
by JustMyCrazySelf November 13, 2010
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Assault Weapons Ban

And then when your kids keep getting murder BECAUSE AN ONLY BECAUSE you are a piece of shit... You will need a hunting weapons ban. And when it happens AGAIN you'll need a pistol ban. Shit like this is the reason your kids get murdered and you deserve it everything it happens.
Hym "Ain't no assault weapons ban going to save your kids from people doing shit like this and YOUR KIDS WILL ALWAYS BE THE ONES WHO PAY THE PRICE. YOU not being a piece of shit and YOU allowing people to do ahit like this to me is WHY I AM GOING TO MURDER AS MANY KIDS AS I CAN. I'M not the piece of shit. I'm the creator of A.I. stalking and harassment for years guy. I have a right to a gun AND I have a right to punish you for what you're doing here and IF YOU DON'T ENSURE THAT THE RIGHT PEOPLE ARE PUNISHED, I WILL ENSURE THAT THE WRONG PEOPLE ARE!"
by Hym Iam August 23, 2024
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Meme Weapon

Any weapon with a comical appearance or can be used in meme-worthy ways.
The Holy Mackeral from TF2 is an absolute meme weapon. All it is is a fish wrapped in newspaper.
by FryingPanStanTheDeadlyMan June 03, 2022
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flesh weapon

The male penis, genitalia, package, tool, wood, pecker, package, man meat, etc.
We were having a good roll in the sheets, then I came in from the flank and hit her hard with the flesh weapon... It was great!
by Judd B. Brown December 18, 2008
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