Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.
"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."
by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022
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I table

When a person thinks hes a table (something really common)
Me:hey timmy how ya doing?
Timmy:i prefer not to be called "timmy" i table now.
by Uncanny April 23, 2022
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Table salt

Asda table salt. SOOOOO goood on fries.
Person1: yo pass me that table salt for my chippies!!

Person2: aight bro!
by LANAMOOPMEEP October 14, 2023
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Table with no chair

There is a table with no chairs.
by Zhio March 27, 2022
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Trophy Table

A table full of empty cans, bottles and glasses of alcohol that accumulate from a long night of drinking.
“We had such a great night of drinking. We have a trophy table of 30 beer cans and bottles to prove it!”
by The Ginger Snap no. 2 May 06, 2018
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after table

The time spent after eating food talking to the people that just ate food with you. Derived from the spanish word sobremesa and having the same meaning.
Jane and I had the longest after table tonight. We couldn't stop talking after we finished eating.
by greatmaster September 18, 2018
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Enable-table

A table that or cabinet that enables you to store more useless clutter.
That useless table you bought is only an enable-table for you to keep more junk around the house.
by Lazybug September 12, 2019
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