bernard manning

an old timmer comedian born in fucking 1930 he is still famous but not as much as in the cunts old time he tells jokes about his mother-in-law he is crude,sick and what he does the most to make his acts offensive racism thats what the fans look for out of him he is very fat hes brought out
alot of videos(such as bernard bites back,banging with manning,bernard manning shooting from the lip,bernard manning on the job,a dirty evening with bernard manning and more)hes brought out one DVD(an audience with bernard and friends:starring david beckham,and victoria beckham)hes into football he supports manchester because thats where he was conceived from he has a fan club in manchester called the embassy hes aloud to smoke,and drink there he ussually talks to the audience there he is turning old so he wont be doing alot of gigs anymore(so sorry if you have just known about him and think he might be a comedian for you)he swears as much as chubby brown uses the word cunt as much as him so manning your fucking brilliant the comedian john thomson on a DVD called 'steve coogan live 'n' lewd' did an impersonation of bernard manning and changed the name of him to 'bernard righton' anyway bernard your the bollocks

bernard manning:i went into this pub right and this guy i seen was well pissed when he came in and he said 'you'se on the left are a shower of bastards and you'se on the right are a shower of cunts' and one guy on the left said 'iam not a bastard' he said 'well go over there with the cunts then'.LOL
i once bought my kids for christmas a set of batteries and it said at the back toys not included.LOL
iam glad iam not bisexual i would hate to be put down by men the way i do by women.LOL

by Jackroll September 15, 2006

Bernard

A person with an extremely small penis. almost invisible to the naked eye. So small you can pick a lock with it.

I was so excited to screw my new boyfriend, til he dropped his pants and showed me his Bernard.

by Brown Hole July 6, 2011

The bearded witch

1. A sexual technique used by a male: A guy picks up a girl and goes back to hers. Whilst the lady is 'preparing herself' in the bathroom, the guy cuts off his pubic hair and leaves them in a pile near the bed. As sexual interaction is reaching the climax, the guys pulls out and ejaculates all over the girls face, picks up the pile of pubes, rubs them over her face and there in front of him the girls transforms into the bearded witch....

Tim didn't want to, but a bet was a bet. He took Louisa back to her place with the expressed intention of getting a picture of her as the bearded witch...

by T Allen September 22, 2008

bearded chalupa

A unshaven Femail Vagina, whos labia sticks out like a taco or a Chalupa

im going to tacobell can you pick me up a bearded Chalupa?
Hahaha, they dont have those at taco bell!

by Kaveman May 4, 2007

bearded monkey

female genitalia, also known as fanny or pussy, part of the female body that resembles a bearded monkey

the man went down on his bird and came face to face with a bearded monkey

by paul james November 26, 2007

bearded triangle

An area between a womans legs in which you insert your pee pee, the area may be a little fluffy.
Hence the bearded.

An unshaven minge

hahaha wtf are you doin with a bearded triangle

by pernament flange March 7, 2009

Aaron Bernard

THUG MONEY FOOL. this niggah right hur got no swagg. he needs lotion man, dis bitch's hand are like the sahara. he looks fresh with his hand me down sweatshirts with build in rims dawgg. he's got 3, SET FO LYFE. his basketball skills are pathetic. kid's got no talent. he got no set team, which evah 1 is winnin, thats who bernard is goin wit. AA battery is one emotional motherfucker. shit goes down when you mention his gay pride. lil wayne is his hero dawg he's obsessed with him, in a homosexual way. don't even get me started on his swaggarific walk. bugs bunny bernard.. tru g.

kid #1: yooo AAAAARON
aaron bernard: yo what up man.
kid #1: lets shoot some hoops.
aaron bernard: LegoooOOOoOooOOo0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0 !

by FRESH MOTAHFUCKER May 30, 2011