The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.
"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"
"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."
"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."
by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022
by Blyler69 June 24, 2019
The opposite of being In the Closet.
An individual who has identified themselves as homosexual in an effort to fit in, but is actually heterosexual.
A member of the non-heterosexual community who has secretly been engaging in heterosexual activities, while denying bisexual or heterosexual preferences.
An individual who has identified themselves as homosexual in an effort to fit in, but is actually heterosexual.
A member of the non-heterosexual community who has secretly been engaging in heterosexual activities, while denying bisexual or heterosexual preferences.
Steve to Eric - "I totally saw Paul making out with that girl from the bar, but he keeps denying it. Ugh, he's so Under the Table".
by floppitywop April 09, 2021
Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.
At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.
"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.
"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.
by stuntmidget January 13, 2012
When a male is trying to grind with a female during a dance, but his height makes it so that his entire genitalia is in line with the female's mid back. Therefore, the female's ass functions, essentially, only as a table for the male's penis.
Yeah, my friend has grown quite tired of clubs, everytime he tries to grind with someone her ass just becomes a penis table.
by woody151 January 27, 2020
by mr+Incognito September 18, 2019
by OWENWWWWWWWW September 01, 2022