maternatummy

When you pretend to be pregnant as a way of mocking pregnant woman. Word was invented on Friday 14th October.

Jess was maternatummying.

by Nikolaisthighs October 14, 2022

Masternator

Master procrastinator

As a MASTERNATOR I’m always running late. You might say that I’m too busy “masternating” to be on time.

by Kinkykiniki October 31, 2022

Mafternoon

Maf-ter-noon it is morning and afternoon noon if you forget to say good morning to someone and it’s afternoon mafternoon or if it’s 12pm mafternoon

Good mafternoon jimmy or how your mafternoon

by Sheaman November 11, 2022

Matter

Anything that has weight and takes up space.

Person 1: ay bro did u know we matter

Person 2: man stfu no one cares about your nerdy shit

Person 1: .....

by urbandici March 10, 2023

maternal death

When a woman ceases to exist due to excessive strain on her birth tract during or after giving labor.

I think it's safe to say that both the guy who impregnated the woman and the lack of contraceptives are ultimate murderers that caused the woman's maternal death.

by ExtraterrestrialMonkey347 December 4, 2022

Maternal mortality rates

Have been steadily increasing since 2018 (Since BEFORE the overturning of Roe v. Wade) with a substantial uptick between 2020 and 2021.

Hym "Ohohohoho! You silly, silly news bitch. I thought I was the only one stupid enough to challenge a God. The claim 'that the disparities in maternal mortality rates can be attributed the overturning of Roe v. Wade' is retarded! And I can prove it (conceptually)! The line of reasoning is simple (because it wasn't thought up by a genius like me): States that banned abortions have higher maternal mortality rates, therefore, there must be some causal link between 'not having access to abortions' and 'maternal mortality.' But the question is: Wasn't the maternal mortality rate ALREADY HIGHER in those states anyway? Before 2022? Because the leading cause of maternal death isn't 'not being able to abort' but rather 1. Bleeding (after birth)/Cardiovascular conditions (according to the CDC) 2. Infection (after birth) 3. High blood pressure. Now... The claim is that 'States that don't have access to abortions have maternal mortality rates 3 times higher than states that have access' but, as we've already established, that was ALREADY THE CASE. So, if it isn't the abortions, what could possibly be the cause!?

Well, it seems like 2 out of the top 3 causes of maternal mortality rates are related to OBESITY. And if you look at the 'obesity rates (by state)' and compare them to the 'maternal mortality rates (by state)' you'll notice something quite interesting... There is ALMOST a 1 to 1 correlation between 'states with high maternal mortality' and 'states with high obesity rates.' And I bet you can't guess WHICH STATES have the highest rates of obesity/maternal mortality? I'll give you hint 🫷😒 It's the ones that ban abortions. The mortality rate has nothing to do with the abortion ban. So, by you own logic, you are either LYING or you aren't very smart. Because it took me 30 second to do what you and an entire team of news people and fact checkers COULDN'T do (even though you were trying really hard and I was not). Which was 'be right.' Which I am. I'm always right. Now, maybe if you actually cared about womens lives and you weren't trying to conflate abortions (defined as the unnecessary disposal of your offspring) with saving a woman's life after a pregnancy becomes ectopic, doctors wouldn't have to walk the conceptual tight rope when dealing with a potentially life threatening pregnancy. And if you cared about the truth I would be getting paid for the things I've written. Maybe medically necessary vs unnecessary is a distinction you should be making when talking about abortion."

by Hym Iam May 17, 2023

Matterboat

An individual like none other. Often found matterbating, Matterboats are proven to be incredibly bad-ass. They're literally Ironmen. This is in no way diminished by their propensity to giggle in corners while brushing their teeth.

Matterboats tend to have a way with the ladies, leading to a track record of finding and marrying the girls of their dreams and living long and happy lives.

Matterboats are highly regarded by their peers. Others enjoy Matterboats' matterbation and are generally highly impressed by Matterboats' tendencies for high levels of success in nearly every aspect of life. Former roommates, travel buddies, and laser tag teammates especially admire Matterboats and deeply value their friendship.

*knock*knock*

"Who is it...?"

"Matt... "

"Matter who...??"

"MATTERBOAT!!"

"MATTERBOAT!!! I've missed you, dude! Congratulations on insert huge achievement here!!"

by Alabamazon June 3, 2023