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douche canoe

An individual who is completely oblivious to the awkward and often offensive nature of his behavior and style. Due to his high level of confidence and willingness to embrace new styles and personas with ease, unsuspecting bystanders may find themselves strangely attracted to the douche canoe. This is due to his vortex of douche upon which he proudly paddles through life.
Terry pulled up to the stoplight in his blacked out Mercedes and took a long drag off his vape pen. He turned toward his girlfriend and blew a great cloud of smoke into her face blocking her view while he winked and blew a kiss at her cousin riding in the back seat.

Sandy, I told you to get rid of this douche canoe. He is such a creep!
by Steve's Buddy Tim October 26, 2015
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double douche

1. (n) Used to describe something so foul or unclean that a single douche would not be sufficient to clean it; a general term of disparagement.

2. (n) Two consecutive douches.

3. (n) A female with whom you wouldn't have sexual intercourse unless she had been given two consecutive douches.
1. It wasn't until Alfonso stole my girlfriend that I realized he was a double douche.

2. Betty is nasty; she needs a double douche.

3. No I didn't have sex with Betty; she's a double douche.
by CJF June 4, 2005
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sloppy douche burger

a recently used douche sandwitched between two burger buns, if desired the buns can be toasted like in subway. This is considered a delicasy in norway.
Dave- "what the fuck is that norwegian eating"
Alan- "I think its a sloppy douche burger"
Dave- "wow, that looks like a pile of shit, why would anyone eat one?"
Alan- "dont knock it until you've tried it man"
by jamalshamali September 1, 2009
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Douche

An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

Will use flattery and any other means possible to get a girl;
and learn how to play parts of songs on the guitar to attract girls. Their interests change depending on the girl they date or hang out with. Music is a good example of such interest changes. They will often listen to pop or rap if the girl enjoys it. Girls seemed oddly attracted to this charade.

Often laugh at others misfortunes reguardless of its severity. Is often a cock blocker even if the tactics used will hinder their own chances of getting a girl. Must always be the center of attention even if it means doing something socially awkward.

Sometimes makes jokes in a loud voice to draw attention to themselves. Talks loudly and in a different tone to assert that he knows a lot about a specific topic.
Occasionally they will sing along to songs on the radio and look at others riding with them to make sure they are paying attention to the fact that they are singing.

They are often white males and are stereotyped for wearing 'popped collars' but this fashion is rarely seen. They most often wear a hat in an unconventional way (Such as: backwards, to one side, slightly to one side, or obnoxiously worn on one side of the head, appearing to be barely stable) Being a douche is not limited to just males.

In short a douche is a living contradiction!
Guy 1: "I don't understand how Joey has any friends, he's a total douche."

Guy 2: "I guess girls like that whole asshole attitude."
by JLTJ May 6, 2011
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douche knocker

Chris is sleeping with that dirty mutha-fuckin how's-ya-mama again; he's a good for nothin douche knocker!
by nancy & tina May 13, 2005
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Douche Muppet

1. Similar to a douchebag, except their tendancy is be an absolute prick is not of their own doing. They are most likely a prick because they think it is cool, or it will make them popular.
2. A prick who is also a tool.
I could call you a douchebag, or I could call you a puppet. Sir, you are both; you fucking douche muppet.
by Matty.C April 29, 2005
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douche candy

A derogatory term used to describe an ex boyfriend/girlfriend or ex husband/wife. Could also be used to describe someone who has done you wrong. Or just plain stupid people.
"Don't be such a douche candy!"

"He/she is a douche candy."
by Rachel Steinberg October 24, 2006
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